Monday, June 22, 2009

Dont Put Baby In A Corner

I know I am the only one who can stand up and proclaim this, so I will.

not even Hope

That is how I'm feeling right now. Why I would ever associate myself with a timid girl brought out of her shell to show off her talents by an older man escapes me right now. The identification was strong for me so I went with it. To save myself from another dry patch of not writing I feel the need to do a good "vomiting" so I can hopefully be re-inspired to carry on.
Its therapeutic for me to write. I need to do it. I should not be so damn worried that I am not as sophisticated and well spoken as many of the works I have read recently. (and for fucks sake i just spent the last hour trying to link many of them but my computer kept freezing up every time.....grrrrrr)

I was trying to do all the right things. Read great books, read well written blogs, read a few reviews of writers. I even wasted some time reading bad blogs to see the direction I don't want to go. All of this lead me to the lovely place of comparisons. Me judging myself against these others. Oh that shit just pisses me off. I have spent so many years working the fucked up judgemental bullshit out of my repertoire(courtesy of my lovely well meaning mother). It's something I pride myself on not doing to total strangers, why do I think its going to be productive to do it to myself. I don't. I know its wrong.

Letter to Self:

To the chick hiding in the corner,

Oh just knock that shit off Hope, really. You are have not lived the life of those people, they have not lived yours. Each persons path is unique to their life and shutting yourself off because someone else can use bigger and more eloquent words, only makes you a wimp and a loser. To give up, means it's really not that important to you.

Stand up do what you want and write write write. It feels good doesn't it? Yes it does! Go with that. Be a dork, be sexy, be creative, fuck it be boring if that's all you have that day. Just keep writing.


Your Balls from deep with in

Ok. I did it. I broke my short spell of silence.

Inspiration I'm looking for you and Muse you better be ready to work.

I can read those other works and be inspired by fellow writers. I can learn from them and move my own passion forward and watch it grow into something great for me and if I'm lucky others will enjoy it also.


  1. :D you write, woman! We're right behind you, even the silent readers.

  2. I'm so glad you're back, love!! :)

  3. I've had this post starred since the day you posted it, wanting to come back and comment, but I seem to be in that same place of uncertainty and insecurity. So I'm keeping silent, both on my own blog and everyone else's.
    But you're not giving yourself enough credit... your writing is so honest, so real, so raw. And I'm not sure what you're saying about the whole not being eloquent thing, because I do NOT see that. This is your blog, your space, your story, and you're doing a damn good job of telling it, in my opinion :)