Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I Have My Eye On You

The Scorpion. Because you chose it. At 14 yrs old the scorpion seemed to be the only creature to fit you. Some day if you ever decide some other creature suits you better I have no problem letting you tattoo that creature on me.

I have my eye on you.

You Dj, because you are my first born. You changed my world, my way of thinking, and my heart. Your presents in this world made me see my life was worth living. You keep me going, you challenge me, you question me. You are amazing. Your heart is huge and you don't even know it yet. The turmoil you may experience now only means the man you will become is going to be wise and worthy of love and peace. Your art is amazing but you knew that. God gave you so many talents, never forget it. They are there under the surface waiting to be a part of your life. Do what you have to do now, be who ever you need to be for now and know that no matter what my love stands firm for you. You can never ever do anything to make me love you less. Just as it is with God it is with me.

The butterfly coming out of the cocoon. You chose the butterfly. Most likely because its PRETTY and that is just how you role. I chose to have you emerging from the cocoon to symbolize the growth and change you have brought to my life. Through you I learn more of what it means to be feminine and enjoy it. I know its a slow process for mommy but I'm working on my love.

I have my eye on you

You Rebekah, my whirlwind of feminine power. You have a spice to you that awakens my soul the true vigor and passion a young girl can have when given the freedom to do so. You have taught me so much in the short time I have known you. Your intellect has always astounded me. The fact that a small package like you can carry so much information is inspiring. I never want to drop the ball with you. You are my one and only female child and I will make sure you can live up to all your dreams and desires.

You will know unconditional love. I will do my very best to protect you without sheltering from all of life's joys and sorrows. I know you will be fine because you are too much like me. Your mouth is big and no one does you wrong and gets away with it.

The blue lady bug. Well my sweet little boy. The lady bug was chosen for you because you just seemed to draw them to our home. During my ENTIRE pregnancy (even during times they should have been dormant) we saw lady bugs. They were in the yard, they came in the house, they were even in the yucky hospital room I had to give birth to you in. Yes living lady bugs crawling around in the light fixtures. I am told the presence of a lady bug is supposed to mean luck. I feel very lucky to always have you that is for sure. Well of course the lady bug had to be blue for Blu, that just makes sense.

I have my eye on you

You Blu, My second boy. My sweetest child yet. Your heart is sensitive and warm. You feel deeply and even with your somewhat limited vocabulary you express your feelings so well.
"Me love you so big much mommy, you are my most bestest mommy ever." These words and others like them stop me in my tracks several times a day. You have no idea now just how important your loving and honest words are to me. I can be having the worst day, everything feels like its spinning out of control and you come around with, "mommy, you read me now, you read a Bluey a story, Oh thank you mommy THANK YOU." I could cry right now just thinking about your bright eyes and how your face lights up when you snuggle up next to me in the big comfy chair to read those books.

Son you keep me sane, bring me down to earth where I belong. My center, my sweetness, my loving tender boy.

Oh but let me not forget to mention you are also the most adventurous and quirky little man right now. Jumping off the couch(teaching brother to do it too), throwing doo doo at the house(took hours to get off), putting all the butt wipes in the toilet at once($228.00 plumbing bill), oh and now opening the front door and taking your baby brother for a walk down the block while daddy was in the backyard doing yard work. Tisk Tisk my boy, you sure wont ever be called boring.

The turtle. For you the turtle was chosen. One reason was that turtles have the strength and determination to what nature intended for them to do. You ever watch one of those shows where the turtle has to fight the tides to get to the beach to bury its eggs and you will understand. Birthing the right way, they know what it takes and they do it. That was what you brought to my life. I learned with you inside of me how to birth the way my body was meant to birth. It took strength and determination and I did it.
Oh it also helps that while I was pregnant with you we rescued a 3 legged turtle and when it was healthy released it into the wild. That was fun.

I have my eye on you

You Greysin, I will always be thankful for the opportunity to birth you. What a time in my life. You are a testament to the strength it took. You carry with you that strength. You take so much shit from your brothers and sister and yet you stand tall. Sure you cry some now but shoot you are only 20 months old. You seem to have a bit of a stubborn streak. I wonder where that comes from......eh em.....not from me right?

You give the best hugs. Every morning I get to wake to your smiling face and your tiny arms around my neck. Your just now learning to really communicate well with your words. Your sign language is dwindling, but that's ok its the way it should be as you grow. I love it when you just want to lay on mommy. You lift my shirt and then lift yours and lay your naked tummy on mine. You hum a comforting hum and slowly melt into my body as if you never left it. If you end up being my last child I will be content and so lucky to have you and all the love and warmth you bring.

Let me not forget, you also like to wipe your boogers proudly on everything but tissue or your own shirt. You run when we need to change your diaper, you try to ride the dog, you stick your hand/fist in the dogs mouth all the time, you attack your brothers and sister randomly throughout the day and act like they started it. You are a brave boy and learn quickly. Your a lot of fun to raise.


  1. I love this.. love it, love it, love it!
    Beautiful tattoos too. :)

  2. That was some powerful writing momma....
    <3 Traci

  3. I love this post. It seems, as is becoming the usual, we are right on the same pages of the stories of our lives. Grey and Phoenix sound just alike. Phoenix gets picked on too but boy does he get his comeupance when the others are least expecting it!