Saturday, May 30, 2009

My comfort zone

Hey I had a rough fucking day today. I don't even care if this all comes out like the biggest SHITE you ever saw. Yeah sure, I had a little klonopin and a Corona light....with the nummies lime and salt thank you very much.

So this is drunky blogging I guess, or whatever catchy fucking phrase some "blogging expert" wants to give it.

If i miss spell, hopefully spell check will catch it, if not then go ahead and crucify me I'm cool with it. I like a good spanking now and then. Give it to me baby UH huh UH HUH.

Now to the of my whole point here.

I have a few ideas of what constitutes a good day. These are the kind of days that just give you that "life is fucking great and no one can fuck this up right now vibe."

My day looks much like a white trash movie me thinks. Picture a slightly hot but fading mama ex rocker chick in her cut offs and black bra under a white wife beater shirt. She worked in her yard pulling weeds and mowing the lawn. All the cat shit is picked up the dog shit too. The kids toys are thrown all over the back yard and and the hard sided baby pool is set up in the back yard. Ice cubes in the freezer constantly being made to keep said pool cool as a cucumber.

She is hot and sweaty. The kids are messing around independently around the house. Sure they are diggin in the fridge eating all the fruit which will give them the runs later, but that is later not now. Now is time for mama to reeeeelax. Dishes need to be done, laundry could use some work, but the sun feels good and there is a slight breeze. Turn off the suck your brain box and turn ON the expand your mind and mood box with a little Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, and gimme some Janis Joplin please. Keep the good old songs rolling my way as I grab my cheap ass Corona with lime and salt to "fancy" it up and head on out the back step to the baby pool awaiting my arrival. Yes that's right mama is going to kick back with a small cooler stocked with beer and a baby pool to wade in until the kids pass out on the lawn from just having uninhibited fun. One of them is old enough to get me a snack if I need it and we have a corner to pee in so there is really no need for me to leave the comfort of my backyard.

I have my phone near by and my friends call and ask what I'm doing. I tell them and of course they want to join me. Hey the more the merrier lets get this going. My friends show up with there kids ready to play with mine....Yay more free healthy entertainment. Of course I don't know how healthy my kids are for theirs. As my kids are generally nude and running around like wild beasties but hey they are happy beasties.

So this is kick ass now, we have beer and friends and a baby wading pool to cool off in. Get the BBQ started slap on some delectable cow or chicken and some zucchini and corn for my veggie lovin friends and feed our faces. Making sure we are making enough noise to cause neighbors to inquire and possibly be invited over. In doing so maybe some more beer and more food and more kids will come.

We relax and eat and party into the evening lighting a fire in the back yard fire pit sitting around the fire giving the kids marshmallows to roast and finishing off our beer. Telling stories and jokes till some of us fall over in our chairs.

Some stay over and sleep on my floor or that one guy we found in the emptied baby pool the next day. Its a wonderful life when you wake up to an environment like that. I'm not kidding I'm not making fun. This shit is really my idea of a fully good time.

Don't forget my friend Kelly would get up and make everyone a kick ass breakfast and bloody Mary's to help us all out with our headaches.

I love my life. I love having simplicity and basic wants covered. Its who I am. So sorry I don't fit into your country club life style or private school that costs you half your pay check. I'm only sorry cause it means you don't want to know me and darn it I'm a pretty kick ass chick to hang a baby wading pool with a beer and wife beater on.

sorry no pics this time, I'm too tipsy to function that progressively at the moment. Maybe tomorrow I will edit and add some...or maybe i will read this and delete it. So your lucky if you get to read it before my sober mind comes back.


  1. you seriously cracked me up with this! Your days are what you make it. and hey i might possibly be white trash too because i think that a day like that would be FUCKING awesome!

  2. AMEN sister. This is my comfort zone. I think I was inspired to write this because I had recently gone to a sort of stuffy engagement and i was so ignored just from my appearance its crazy. those people dont know what they are missing.

  3. Damn right they don't know what they're missing!

    and you misspelled 'marier' (merrier) and 'marshmellows' (marshmallows). consider yourself crucified. bwahahahahaaa!