tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57667929601838483942024-02-18T22:51:34.138-08:00Hope N MindedIm connected and connecting all the time. Sometimes I need a little eye opener and sometimes you do to.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-69000050101713318332009-10-12T23:11:00.000-07:002009-10-12T23:14:51.475-07:00I hateMalls.<br /><br />That is all I hate. I tried to make a long list but my heart wont let me. So for now I can only think of Malls.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-70167413426180811712009-08-04T14:23:00.000-07:002009-08-04T14:43:31.212-07:00A Personal Letter Just For YouDear friends and hungry <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">voyeurs</span>,<br /><br /><br />I was given the gift of my own blog site from a <a href="http://onlyaman.net/">wonderful and talented friend</a>. He is in the process of working with me to put it all together. I realize I have so much to learn and it will take some time. So in between fixing the problems of 4 other human beings lives I will be in <a href="http://hopenminded.com/">MY NEW BLOG SITE</a> working to create a reader friendly environment. I would appreciate any ideas or critiques on how I can improve the site. I have been overwhelmed with life and have not written anything new lately......<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">DON'T</span> GIVE UP ON ME! It is important to me that you are reading my words. You matter to me and your input is valued, so please don't be silent.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/onlyaman"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Onlyaman</span></a> has already transferred all of my work from this blog to the new site so you can skip reading here and just go <a href="http://hopenminded.com/">there.</a> Here is hoping I am a talented enough parent to tire out the small people living in my home so I am free to write a new blog before I lose your attention.<br /><br /><br />See you in my new place,<br /><br />Love HopeHopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-11077501638382981562009-07-21T12:43:00.000-07:002009-07-24T00:24:31.709-07:00I'm Shoveling itand I'm using my mini shovel.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz40NAAT-0_uXeYvW4hTZfhgI39YjL_zp5M_NQoGI7mQP6STOzUw2z6Hp5JLDqGx4L2eN7KNRNCk6q4qqaxd3t8s6bNfv210a3AcVyrbfNRbh9jHvhAZ_J3ICO_KAbdHQQdoKoqbPB4oxN/s1600-h/24561.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz40NAAT-0_uXeYvW4hTZfhgI39YjL_zp5M_NQoGI7mQP6STOzUw2z6Hp5JLDqGx4L2eN7KNRNCk6q4qqaxd3t8s6bNfv210a3AcVyrbfNRbh9jHvhAZ_J3ICO_KAbdHQQdoKoqbPB4oxN/s320/24561.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361919918385504434" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> I get these <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">spectacular</span> ideas from my everyday life and inspirations from wonderful writers. I feel the ideas well up inside of me and grow, like a flower being filmed on some nature show in fast forward. The seed is planted, the bud peeks out of the ground and before you know it you have a full on stem and leaf unfurling itself for all to see and all this within 30 seconds or so. That is how my ideas blossom. One problem, I'm scatter brained and unorganized. I get too many ideas and think they are all the bee's knees but before I get a chance to write them down or even jot a note on my had to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">recall</span> the inspiration for later blogging, something comes along to distract, dismay or detour my enlightenment.<br /><br /> Currently I have a severe double ear infection my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">eustation</span> tubes are full and I can't hear anyone unless they are looking right at me. My own words spoken are like a booming Megaphone only I can hear. When your voice is that loud, you realize you talk to damn much and maybe what you have to say really is not that important. I long for silence.<br /><br /> So I sit and I wait for my hearing to come back so I can once again fill my mind, my hand, my scraps of paper, and my blog with my mind boggling epiphanies and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">clusterfucks</span> of spiffy ideas. I swear I have been having pages upon pages of mind blowing ideas. Unfortunately my illness and all my nagging children leave me with only the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">shitter</span> invention. So it's all yours.<br /><br /> To keep things visually interesting here is my latest "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">clusterfuck</span>" of an idea. Personally I don't think its such a bad idea. Of course my family laughs at me.<br /><br /><br /> We are planning a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">roughin</span>' it camping trip. The camp site does provide port-o-potties. I refuse to use a shared-shit-shack, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">that's</span> just nasty as hell. My husband doesn't believe in spending a lot of money. So I have to get inventive using very little money sometimes.<br /><br />Here you go:<br /><br /><br />First you need a head strap light(for those night trips to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">shitter</span>)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3mvT8i3cukslOMSetJ4S69i8lmiDCQUYe2xPXAxoefTYo06z9iOz7sZCezEVazESxw6nrhJA5snZlRqgB0K1flWc5m91z7GS4mA7JH54ev9FDVIJAC8jzKSvFftEPh6rJI4vHi0SareK/s1600-h/057.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3mvT8i3cukslOMSetJ4S69i8lmiDCQUYe2xPXAxoefTYo06z9iOz7sZCezEVazESxw6nrhJA5snZlRqgB0K1flWc5m91z7GS4mA7JH54ev9FDVIJAC8jzKSvFftEPh6rJI4vHi0SareK/s320/057.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361913080809790674" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You need a 5 or 7 gallon bucket with the bottom cut out (so your shit can fall to the hole you have dug in the ground)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1JwSZ4LAKGIaJGbADU4uicXsuwM0fWTOMRLdN00m26lwPvYkoZXsyYoWrRR9YpTpH6LOzSopr1jXKaj8PHKpNsE3NjldBiNmfJaaUFN4g_KTVTKE6HUni3jMl-eF3pMAs4Yqoj1q8xF1r/s1600-h/059.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 199px; height: 149px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1JwSZ4LAKGIaJGbADU4uicXsuwM0fWTOMRLdN00m26lwPvYkoZXsyYoWrRR9YpTpH6LOzSopr1jXKaj8PHKpNsE3NjldBiNmfJaaUFN4g_KTVTKE6HUni3jMl-eF3pMAs4Yqoj1q8xF1r/s320/059.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361913068329303330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Use an old wire hanger to create a toilet paper holder and some toilet paper. Get your kids toilet ring so they don't fall in. Or you can go to your local R.E.I and get one of <a href="http://www.rei.com/product/786390">these</a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisIuuF9XQpGd7XusZvIJ6wcDcXN9GpC1CNiXJxt5NSE1LkahgMTCUuDSi4sO-ILKUtbmkST4GHBlZ05l9kNpTtZdE087Fw4f6aY2uFJFmGLfv4iqEUbgqIm-xBnRpk64qyDHwTOoAaLQlY/s1600-h/060.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 255px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisIuuF9XQpGd7XusZvIJ6wcDcXN9GpC1CNiXJxt5NSE1LkahgMTCUuDSi4sO-ILKUtbmkST4GHBlZ05l9kNpTtZdE087Fw4f6aY2uFJFmGLfv4iqEUbgqIm-xBnRpk64qyDHwTOoAaLQlY/s320/060.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361913077249806306" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigniP05z-4vIpVkZPMAePlAnMaNLKELGKNqSfyBYrP0FBfjy1OBwHGz_orq6tnWXD_-mLJrZjxryfHqLLt0uxG0QmPlWX092Q7Z9AxBoKpR93x4r4jhn0fYJa1VADqiLWqHA0VKxFgtVMc/s1600-h/058.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigniP05z-4vIpVkZPMAePlAnMaNLKELGKNqSfyBYrP0FBfjy1OBwHGz_orq6tnWXD_-mLJrZjxryfHqLLt0uxG0QmPlWX092Q7Z9AxBoKpR93x4r4jhn0fYJa1VADqiLWqHA0VKxFgtVMc/s320/058.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361915950353036562" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You put it all together and you have sanitary <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">shitters</span> for you and your family.<br /><br />Don't forget to buy a mini shovel for those shit holes<br /><br />For my frugal husband, all this only cost us 9 bucks......the cost of the head light. Which I'm sure we will find many other uses for. The rest of it, we already had around the house. Unless you decide to chip in for the fancy potty seat for 12.99. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Oooohh</span> we could be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">livin</span>' large <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">darlin</span>'.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHeNNR_E2U_DZnNArSoakvHU056jAzUZEC1JVH-cV7GKYtdqCHR00WEk4nVMOsqmR7NpEpryOV-RrNw-U8uQT1I5Lywfp-iMBePqxpl-itu0SNoC_ywqY_WIgZqxuhGavb2VQqm146nrx-/s1600-h/056.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 344px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHeNNR_E2U_DZnNArSoakvHU056jAzUZEC1JVH-cV7GKYtdqCHR00WEk4nVMOsqmR7NpEpryOV-RrNw-U8uQT1I5Lywfp-iMBePqxpl-itu0SNoC_ywqY_WIgZqxuhGavb2VQqm146nrx-/s320/056.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361915960930480402" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xCKmVZricgWCev6GefVMDgirhF8q_D-zu-qGAmTPmZfeNcnu4sD42nPCUJs7R6vNjwfy7M1ss_CfNMrUKeQYj6q-fdGsJm0XGIKjCEuyoGFMvdoxKzu_TbJ4MiUK0uMViMPHPedkTXyG/s1600-h/054.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 241px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xCKmVZricgWCev6GefVMDgirhF8q_D-zu-qGAmTPmZfeNcnu4sD42nPCUJs7R6vNjwfy7M1ss_CfNMrUKeQYj6q-fdGsJm0XGIKjCEuyoGFMvdoxKzu_TbJ4MiUK0uMViMPHPedkTXyG/s320/054.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361915956483414290" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVddFd604vmnGm3omv9OJmns82y-M7nsJx4mIRw-KADJaGFLFezkig6WT1q_vou67FerTPoPRBhC0lUgZ3owU33W3fVpHiSLyJQVs1024NSq8YH38Chda_Gvkk0Q0LBmV6PPpIPwG7UPz-/s1600-h/063.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 263px; height: 279px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVddFd604vmnGm3omv9OJmns82y-M7nsJx4mIRw-KADJaGFLFezkig6WT1q_vou67FerTPoPRBhC0lUgZ3owU33W3fVpHiSLyJQVs1024NSq8YH38Chda_Gvkk0Q0LBmV6PPpIPwG7UPz-/s320/063.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361913086458782354" border="0" /></a>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-3466770556034754272009-07-13T01:18:00.000-07:002009-07-13T02:43:13.499-07:00Un planted and UnpluggedLets begin with the Un planted portion:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> The seed of truth has been revealed and pulled the hell out of Bek's ear. Thank God for medical technologies. You won't hear me say that often so when I do I mean it.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJChSuNgfnThuLNCibSF8LfBF9ItWh4goCQwHYmS94tWkDSixCVSBKm-5XCQBUWDZ7KhA_Mnf_UWwK0D5SpWcdAV9bN0OUXVyLnsEc0z-rLBYJR7F5isoAcWSPoAf16Yp_D4akxQvKu1wa/s1600-h/034.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 386px; height: 290px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJChSuNgfnThuLNCibSF8LfBF9ItWh4goCQwHYmS94tWkDSixCVSBKm-5XCQBUWDZ7KhA_Mnf_UWwK0D5SpWcdAV9bN0OUXVyLnsEc0z-rLBYJR7F5isoAcWSPoAf16Yp_D4akxQvKu1wa/s320/034.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357868591872664962" border="0" /></a><br /><br /> Holy crap Beks was in pain for over 3 weeks. We went through some serious bullshit to find the truth of what was ailing her. I'm glad I didn't just listen to the first doctor. He told us she just had a scar on her ear drum. Dumb fuck. Yeah just because you have a medical degree doesn't mean you get to be lazy with your observations. Shit head, made my baby go through another 7 days of unnecessary pain.<br /><br /> As stated in my <a href="http://hopenmind.blogspot.com/2009/07/sevichi-is-safe-alternative.html">previous post</a>, I developed a slight obsession after purchasing my own otoscope so I could eye ball this source of pain myself. I was suspicious that this doctor didn't have it right, but of course we are trained from infancy to blindly trust the man in the white coat. "He will always know what is best for us", WHAT EVER.......SHEEP! Considering I did doubt my gut instinct that the doc was full of shit, I have to take responsibility for my girls pain.<br /><br /> A good observant and confident mother or father can know a lot more than an MD in most cases.<br /><br /> I couldn't take it anymore and made an appt for her with a different doctor. This doc put a tool in Bek's ear and that tool moved the "scar". Huh, a scar that moves and when it does, looks like a damn tiny apple seed.<br /><br /> The doc said, she didn't have the equipment to remove it because it was fused pretty firmly to the wall of the ear.<br /><br /> Here is the video of the specialist with the bad ass equipment to get 'ER done. He pulls it out pretty quick so I have added a picture of the culprit below.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />. <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='382' height='314' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dx8rmte07pxIPisZ89JzYPK-LicqLhts-DMQ_Ax_OY0Bh2EaKrh4otYp5FMcA8zt3yJmjuoWaGqKt8JKSOvUA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Its a damn flax seed. Come to find out so many moons ago when I was telling her to NOT play in my flax seeds, (that I use to make hot/cold packs to sooth sore muscles) I wasn't just trying to be a controlling bitch of a mother and had a damn good reason for saying, "knock that off."<br /><br />You know I had to rub this in a little with the snotty mouthed little 6year old. "Now honey, next time will you listen when mom says, don't rain flax seeds all over your head?"<br /><br /><br />NOTE: in the picture you see some stuff sticking up out of the seed. That is mostly wax but some was skin. Her skin was beginning to fuse to the seed.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMoxTfI_ELdFzEDKkQaWgJb0-jwbal_Bg1e45waDo2NCBY4sIQmOHyTDbOYGqj2UX1eEkvr5kA-Bem_hNR7VC6tdCtTjrK_Ag-jN9f2EOvMrDovC4KjhpkzwsmQzOCLpOAIgqyliKHun9/s1600-h/046.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMoxTfI_ELdFzEDKkQaWgJb0-jwbal_Bg1e45waDo2NCBY4sIQmOHyTDbOYGqj2UX1eEkvr5kA-Bem_hNR7VC6tdCtTjrK_Ag-jN9f2EOvMrDovC4KjhpkzwsmQzOCLpOAIgqyliKHun9/s320/046.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357862298335600594" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlj8PKxUWqNDzdapcqZRB3jrSne_yPRXg4Xq_hI5BOI9hpJX6OTkTJmO_tVA_U1uFIlk0goNr-CHWt8wDnLtqQdfk3WavgpxkIzCmsGtEnpU_mb2ayP_fbIgpRRfE5iQNmgymTDkB1vhzI/s1600-h/048.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 260px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlj8PKxUWqNDzdapcqZRB3jrSne_yPRXg4Xq_hI5BOI9hpJX6OTkTJmO_tVA_U1uFIlk0goNr-CHWt8wDnLtqQdfk3WavgpxkIzCmsGtEnpU_mb2ayP_fbIgpRRfE5iQNmgymTDkB1vhzI/s320/048.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357868581358826610" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now for the Unplugged portion:<br /><br />My Bek's is not only a snotty mouthed 6 year old. She is also bold, tenacious and quit thinking FLIPPIN GENIUS. I love you kid.<br /><br />So as we are leaving and so very thankful to the specialist, Beks stops the doc and says,<br /><br />"ya know my mom got this obsession with the ears ever since she bought herself an otoscope, so now she sees in her own ear and there is this giant glob of gross stuff in there she can't get out. I saw it. Its really gross, can you help her since we are already here?"<br /><br />For no charge Mr. Cool Specialist man say, "sure, lets get that out."<br /><br />I lay down and here is what happens<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCMoxTfI_ELdFzEDKkQaWgJb0-jwbal_Bg1e45waDo2NCBY4sIQmOHyTDbOYGqj2UX1eEkvr5kA-Bem_hNR7VC6tdCtTjrK_Ag-jN9f2EOvMrDovC4KjhpkzwsmQzOCLpOAIgqyliKHun9/s1600-h/046.JPG"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='344' height='312' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dya8bpmtBvxTBNa8_xHV0VRmS0Kcb79aGCW4fvUv2HBmfRsavtE4fg0W7p3jT1F57nUDsMdAGLSrtBia2vu2g' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></a><br /><br /><br />I know it doesn't look like much but trust me it was quite the impressive mass.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdm5mkVBT_SnQ5iTx3RLfPf5WB_HMwrEBfOtwqa5f0PzY8CrvIJPrsY70UttvzhUwv5pg5yHZ7JdBCskd3H2afu0pjl1p90q_20vk7_s-rdJYh7Zt16jAMnm2zVHmTO66vZh0HLWBf2fk3/s1600-h/049.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 323px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdm5mkVBT_SnQ5iTx3RLfPf5WB_HMwrEBfOtwqa5f0PzY8CrvIJPrsY70UttvzhUwv5pg5yHZ7JdBCskd3H2afu0pjl1p90q_20vk7_s-rdJYh7Zt16jAMnm2zVHmTO66vZh0HLWBf2fk3/s320/049.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357868573616465266" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />It all hits me after seeing this thing come out that I have been partially deaf for about 4 years now. I stopped using q-tips about 4 years ago when I learned they were really not helpful in removing wax. So that means this plug had to be there at least that long. Not to mention telling my husband (wrongly) for years he needs to stop mumbling, might have eventually jacked with my harmonious union.<br /><br />You really know things were bad when you go to use the phone to tell your old man the exciting news and the ring tone hurts your ear drum so bad you drop the phone and want to cry.<br /><br />I whispered for the first few days and the kids incessant screeching and howling hurt like a bitch but its all starting to feel normal. I do of course have super sonic hearing now.<br /><br />Oh I can't wait for the next adventure.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-17895335738294353962009-07-12T23:33:00.000-07:002009-07-13T00:11:36.010-07:00I Will Push You, and You Will Like Itor you can just leave now<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> You are on a road, you're heading places. The life you live everyday leads you to a new adventure. Take control of that adventure. Make it what you want it to be. Don't allow fears and doubts to weaken you. If you continue to let the fears drive, you will lose yourself and become one of drones in this world hobbling around on one brain cell being supported by every <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pharmaceutical</span> imaginable. Those drugs are fine for those unable to climb out of their shit, but you are capable.<br /><br /> <br /><br /> You hold yourself back, limiting your existence. You can do so much more. I hope you see it soon. Your family and friends are being strongly effected by your fears. The toxic words that flow from you are proof that the control is slowly slipping from your hands. You tell yourself you're not good enough. You say you just CAN'T do things.<br /><br /> I call BULLSHIT!<br /><br /> I saw you take a chance. I saw you come out of your shell and be alive. You can do it. You are capable. You're such a beautiful person. I don't think you see it. Such a shame to be wasting the person you are meant to be. What a pathetic existence. If pity is what your after then turn and run from me. I won't pity you. I won't enable this behavior. I will challenge you and push your limits to help you create the person you want to be, back on the road you are meant for.<br /><br /> I have seen what happens when the weakness in people takes over. I refuse to condone or promote this in anyone I see on a regular basis. So know, if you are around me I will be up your ass to help you get better. I will set boundaries that may feel like rejection but I never reject. I only love. If I have to step back from your toxic behavior it's only so I can continue to be the strong person I need to be to help you get back up on your own two feet. So hopefully someday you too can push someone else to stand strong.<br /><br /> You can't tell me I just don't understand. I have been in the room of fear and so many other rooms of hell. I climbed out, and so can you. It's a slow process for most, I understand that. Some progress will be made though and you will move forward. Do it, I challenge you.<br /><br />I call you out WOMAN.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-69363421132238255752009-07-04T01:12:00.000-07:002009-07-04T02:05:42.095-07:00Sevichi Is A Safe Alternative<div style="text-align: center;">Hold your loved ones close, cause this is going to get ugly.<br /><br /><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNVIOzxD1_zyxx7m8lBybmLNzJgw2Ey8jJHFV0sC-k6zWpSsIL6kQj9SWiao8GaovLF8InnMfAiIJZb4FuE-rnIKNsZqG0ZAuxk8NnyW9dzvIXj9sLiCoXwC72vDNX2C_efsEceFm9VfPw/s1600-h/051.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 227px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNVIOzxD1_zyxx7m8lBybmLNzJgw2Ey8jJHFV0sC-k6zWpSsIL6kQj9SWiao8GaovLF8InnMfAiIJZb4FuE-rnIKNsZqG0ZAuxk8NnyW9dzvIXj9sLiCoXwC72vDNX2C_efsEceFm9VfPw/s320/051.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354516732070025506" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">There is a silent danger out in the stores. Just willy nilly left out on a shelf for anyone to purchase. You don't have to have a degree or a licence of any kind, just about eleven dollars.<br /><br /><br /> This item is so dangerous it drove a perfectly sane woman to do this to herself.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.usanest.org/instructions.htm">Ear Candling</a><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR080GqSK6-r2Iw0u-zEb0B38uNpycuGvstXTS96WMejghC7_SAT6_Bd4f74PaoHExzs05I5-gRg9-dDLM0ijuU3xM_CP7MmfKdkzJKRpZ5AcJke2LAOXTUgQS-QT1V7SGnpAE8HZTdTOa/s1600-h/050.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR080GqSK6-r2Iw0u-zEb0B38uNpycuGvstXTS96WMejghC7_SAT6_Bd4f74PaoHExzs05I5-gRg9-dDLM0ijuU3xM_CP7MmfKdkzJKRpZ5AcJke2LAOXTUgQS-QT1V7SGnpAE8HZTdTOa/s320/050.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354518483803963378" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So I am sending out this warning. Don't purchase one of these.<br /><a href="http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100125&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod1491340#">Its a bad no no stay away</a><br /><br />OH the horrors it showed me<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />WARNING THIS GETS ICKY GROSS<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Inside my ears....NOOOOOOO<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBZpJSFo22yTkPykjRrPSGdyk7YeuGceTzKOCV4K5BC621m5gmZ5iW_YCDVHBBpAMswaVQWpYl0_Y7hBJ61hRPIGgNoCe3yTAZmZR2hY0iXh9wcC1ZctPaUpPV64JFMbvkuJ6evI70Enzq/s1600-h/049.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 208px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBZpJSFo22yTkPykjRrPSGdyk7YeuGceTzKOCV4K5BC621m5gmZ5iW_YCDVHBBpAMswaVQWpYl0_Y7hBJ61hRPIGgNoCe3yTAZmZR2hY0iXh9wcC1ZctPaUpPV64JFMbvkuJ6evI70Enzq/s320/049.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354520904305133346" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn97qgKTlrMAEv1wQOC0MEiJ-0qvHiD1h-9BR_AfSzn53zTQsfB8O1yTi4DUykmqOU6ljHo9YfmEuhhN9ESMHo-O4dyieKQxx8ZLeJzq2asWlIpU3bgwaAUlG8XMtxEbgsnK54Qanu3uIr/s1600-h/048.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 313px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn97qgKTlrMAEv1wQOC0MEiJ-0qvHiD1h-9BR_AfSzn53zTQsfB8O1yTi4DUykmqOU6ljHo9YfmEuhhN9ESMHo-O4dyieKQxx8ZLeJzq2asWlIpU3bgwaAUlG8XMtxEbgsnK54Qanu3uIr/s320/048.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354516030359544370" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXyLcwNRzUoBXmP95kbdms0CYYQgplw1-S7C5tTO56E6sWKONvVZYH3S2vYQZub6JBNMg_bObKBMbjYs8qQ337bnFq_VCysP-HSSk059CTCGslS0kFzFNQs8fZ9XxFufxd9g1_PWuU4mB/s1600-h/047.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 277px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXyLcwNRzUoBXmP95kbdms0CYYQgplw1-S7C5tTO56E6sWKONvVZYH3S2vYQZub6JBNMg_bObKBMbjYs8qQ337bnFq_VCysP-HSSk059CTCGslS0kFzFNQs8fZ9XxFufxd9g1_PWuU4mB/s320/047.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354516023005871298" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This one is the inside of my daughter's ear. She has a scar that is healing. This little scar was the entire reason for even considering such a dangerous (purchase)weapon of T.M.I<br /><br /><br />See the little scar? Isn't it so cute<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1BT2Oh4U7N_t-WaP0x4BRSzIJsTGgInlFmIQq1pL3M_x-rTVdgpxHB8qu7Yfk8dFpZnSPKv4GxUM1BUY2O9dXUwmWhH5s9tfNY-VYXEWjN_fedC_9yC7WrGR2Ukr_CNwLYo4nZYk1Slce/s1600-h/043.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1BT2Oh4U7N_t-WaP0x4BRSzIJsTGgInlFmIQq1pL3M_x-rTVdgpxHB8qu7Yfk8dFpZnSPKv4GxUM1BUY2O9dXUwmWhH5s9tfNY-VYXEWjN_fedC_9yC7WrGR2Ukr_CNwLYo4nZYk1Slce/s320/043.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354516032536304226" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So now that you have been warned, you may have some desire anyway to go out and do something horrible and buy one of these otoscope things. I implore you to please just read on and do what I suggest instead.<br /><br /><br />First purchase a nice pound or two of Halibut.<br />Then cube the Halibut<br />Then put it in a class dish so its all spread out evenly.<br />Squeeze 2.5 lemons and 3 Limes over the top of the Halibut<br />Let stand for at least 3 hours on the counter. Keeping it covered with saran wrap.<br /><br />Now dice up a good handful of tomatoes<br />some cilantro (to your tastes)<br /><a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_4513627_fire-roast-peppers.html">roast a bell pepper</a> then dice<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje3hamQHb_X0OldcjcTFn0B8VZ7Iq2-gCdh5HKeWQkL8u_XU1zqI0mvYtjdm31DEa1zBHq7iwj0YilSbdudHt8OZvrOq2IBadfZbGQ-MjmOSEaz5BHnjH3QZM0vpAYtKGxrH2xmpRwrkOc/s1600-h/026.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje3hamQHb_X0OldcjcTFn0B8VZ7Iq2-gCdh5HKeWQkL8u_XU1zqI0mvYtjdm31DEa1zBHq7iwj0YilSbdudHt8OZvrOq2IBadfZbGQ-MjmOSEaz5BHnjH3QZM0vpAYtKGxrH2xmpRwrkOc/s320/026.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354522719657382178" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Add all that stuff to your now citrus cooked fish. Sprinkle with some salt and pepper and mix<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkYZY0LDuY6NEAP6rOrLF_pMJi_EA80REmeMSLCRZcEmZZytf4sE456Co3ZpVqpAUTzrq4W0KthRCWS8rGggBknGQ38Jkb8RaaDasXdBIQWhZMU1PkjJOB50UqmkWsL_dzTyWVP-wqJBM2/s1600-h/027.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkYZY0LDuY6NEAP6rOrLF_pMJi_EA80REmeMSLCRZcEmZZytf4sE456Co3ZpVqpAUTzrq4W0KthRCWS8rGggBknGQ38Jkb8RaaDasXdBIQWhZMU1PkjJOB50UqmkWsL_dzTyWVP-wqJBM2/s320/027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354515195520379970" border="0" /></a><br />Then make some sort of taco or burrito with your delicious <a href="http://www.bakespace.com/recipes/detail/Sevichi/1863/">Sevichi<br /></a></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiiX4moHghXRPNPm6MHOdN6c-qXN1fdYmXzfulFG6NCa1oqvCSNx9UXOosgMraSqVObWbnx_RjVPpnw8rSOTEWkQI5ILcqyTFKqcORb07DrV0T64lJ535uHJvzD39GloyQak3UG92Voa6c/s1600-h/045.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiiX4moHghXRPNPm6MHOdN6c-qXN1fdYmXzfulFG6NCa1oqvCSNx9UXOosgMraSqVObWbnx_RjVPpnw8rSOTEWkQI5ILcqyTFKqcORb07DrV0T64lJ535uHJvzD39GloyQak3UG92Voa6c/s320/045.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354515364089248082" border="0" /></a>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-71266836199458043552009-07-01T01:02:00.000-07:002009-07-01T01:08:44.921-07:00Do NOT Self DiagnoseLittle girl.<br /><br />You lie.<br /><br />You tell folks that care about you that you have some horrible life altering mental condition.<br /><br />You are really OK.<br /><br />You just need some reality without violence to scare off your old memories.<br /><br />Your not seeing monsters and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ghosties</span> in your twilight hours.<br /><br />Your mind is finally old enough to deal with the horrible things you saw as a wee one and its now releasing them into your consciousness.<br /><br />You are not sick.<br /><br />You will be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span>.<br /><br />Stop dooming your existence.<br /><br />For goodness sake you are loved, trust that.....not the dark shadows of your lying mind.<br /><br />Talk and ask questions EDUCATE yourself. The light will come.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-46494374816433329712009-06-30T10:06:00.001-07:002009-07-03T10:31:58.417-07:00MAGNIFIQUE LIBERTEI feel so fortunate to be able to pull out so many positive experiences from my sex,drugs and rock & roll life style as a young person. I know a lot of people who look back on their past <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">excursions</span> as some kind of shameful history never to be looked upon again. I'm sorry for you, that it was so dark you had no fun at all. I can identify with the darkness but choose to pull light out of any place I can. I would be one miserable son-of-a-bitch if all i saw was the darkness. Now that I think about it, I was one miserable S.O.B in my earlier days. Just a few years ago, when I had the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">misguided</span> impression I was supposed to fit in with society. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Uggg</span> what a child I was.<br /><br /><br /> So I will put away the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">whining</span> and bitching of all that was DONE TO ME and celebrate and take credit for all that I chose to do.<br /><br /><br /> I chose to have sex with many different people. An experience I never wish to take back. I learned so much and loved so deeply. Each one of my lovers taught me something, whether it be about sex itself, about being hurt, being loved, letting go and healing, or taking back my power and saving my soul.<br /><br /> So to Christopher my young love I wish you a happy life. I envision you living on some compound surrounded by beautiful naked women. Being free and loving your life fully.<br /><br /> To the other young loves I had (I won't name because they might actually find this someday) you were special too. My first boy in 7<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">th</span> grade, you fucking hurt me. Taught me what sex was NOT supposed to be. My first <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">bj</span> boy, you taught me NO teeth, oops sorry. My first ghetto boyfriend thanks for putting me in such peril all the damn time. I might have never known how others experienced violence. You mean it can come from places other than mommy and daddy?<br />My first college boyfriend (I was in 9<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">th</span> grade). I thought you were beautiful. I didn't see you as overweight, you could have totally gone out with someone your own age. Its <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ok</span>, you were kind to me and did your best as a boyfriend.<br /><br /> Oh I must have special mention for another favorite. Nathan, my friend, my past lover, my teacher. You were and are magic, but you have always known that. You have more talent in your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">pinky</span> than most people have in 80 yrs of life. You brought out in me what years of abuse from my family tried to squash down and totally ruin. You found the me I would have been if I had never been tainted by this world. I thank you for that. Since I do know how your doing, I can say, I'm not surprised and and quite pleased for you.<br /><br /><br /> For the one timers and I don't remember your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">namers</span>. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I hope I made some impression on you. If it were good or bad I don't mind, just something. I'm sorry I don't remember your names, ya know how it is when your young DUMB and full of cum. Well obviously you do. Thank you for showing me I was indeed worth so much more. The cold unloved feeling I was left with quickly made me realize I wanted more for myself. I wish only the best for all of you and hope you too came to the conclusion I did.<br /><br /> For the father of my first son. You really were one of the loves of my life. In my heart I have never wished ill will on you. Out of respect I say no more.<br /><br /> For the women who I had the good fortune to screw, make love to, fuck, and generally just devour. Thank you sweets. Thank you for sharing yourselves and your lives with me. My passions grew and I learned so much about who I am through loving you.<br /><br /> My favorite would be Katie. Oh Katie, you were a wonderful roommate,lover,counselor,friend, and teacher. You had your quirks, but the beauty and openness to understand me and share your knowledge has shaped who I am today.<br /><br /> My boy toys. You were cute, you were fun, you had no money and barely knew how to have a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">conversation</span> but you made me feel young and that was needed at the time. I wish you all the best and hope you grew up well.<br /><br /> That one guy who tried to beat me. Thanks dude. I always wondered what I would do if some guy tried to fuck with me the way they always fucked with my mom. Now I know, I just don't take that kind of crap. I don't even mind that I had to go to jail for 4 days. Kicking your ass was worth it.<br /><br /> Random bar guy. I'm so glad I told your wife. That shit was just jacked up and it taught me that I am a good person and have no desire to harm anyone, no matter how much I may not like them.<br /><br /> My husband, seriously you are THE MAN. I was so excited when I finally got to meet you. I knew you were coming, I knew we would meet, and I knew we would be wonderful together but I had no way of fully <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">understanding</span> the greatness of US until it all came true. We are magic together. I love you more every time we touch. This is the stuff that makes life worth living. To finish out my days with you is all I desire or require. I look forward to more and more of you, my love.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" ></span>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-56553815689027570362009-06-24T00:11:00.001-07:002009-06-24T01:03:32.813-07:00Path To FreedomStep one: Take charge<br /><br />Step two: Fully <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">identify</span> all wrongs done to you.<br /><br />Step three: Forgive the wrongs and the offender<br /><br />Step four: Start the healing and learning how to live the way you want to live.<br /><br /><br /><br /> Step one: You make a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">conscious</span> choice to be an adult, to take charge of your life. No more are you the victim to be tortured by past offences or offenders. You certainly set boundaries and limits to stop any possible further offences to you (the scope of this can be <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">immense</span>). Sometimes this step alone requires the will of God to place it in your heart. Ask for it, you will <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">receive</span> it. Sometimes you already have it and just refuse to see it. For some this requires step THREE to come first. Some need to forgive to be able to take charge of their lives. Whatever gets you there baby. Just do it.<br /><br /><br /> In step 2: Acknowledging it, even if no one else will. The only validation needed is yours. You know the truth. This is your life not theirs. While it may be comforting or pleasant to have someone e<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">lse's</span> approval or understanding its all just fluff. We are talking about saving your life. You don't require fluff for that. Drop the excuses, drop the but I should <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">haves</span> and straight up call out the persons deeds. This is what they are : A B C D E F........etc. Sometimes a list like this continues on into your healing stage. When you begin to heal you see all the things about your personality that the harm done to you squashed or hid from you.<br /><br /> Step 3: Forgive the wrong that was done to you. Let it go. You have not <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">truly</span> forgiven if you don't let it go. If it still eats away at you or you see no progress in your healing, you will go back to step one and start all over, because you obviously have not fully completed it. The fear in your heart will leave. Keep in mind the fear response of your body and mind will take a little longer to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">dissipate</span>. Don't feel like you are letting them get "away" with something by choosing forgiveness. The forgiveness is for your sake not theirs. They will continue on in their life with or without your forgiveness, but you will carry what they did, with you everyday unless you forgive. You will continue to be the victim, only now you are doing it to yourself.<br /><br /><br />Step 4: Let the healing begin. This part plays itself out differently for everyone. Keep in mind, you do have a say in how this goes though. Pushing things in the back of your mind and pretending they never happened or never left a lasting effect on you is NOT healing. That is some <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">scaredy</span> cat bullshit. Don't do that. Be bold for yourself. Get professional help, read books, talk to others who have survived and moved forward positively with their lives. Be kind to yourself. Know that you will stumble, you will have flash backs, you will have feelings of anger and hate. Allow yourself to feel it all and with support safely move through it and past it. Trust my words, hiding in drugs or unhealthy relationships or whatever creative soul crushing, mind blowing idea you come up with, will only slow you down and you will either FAIL miserably or at best make you the one hurting your loved ones. You don't want that now do you?<br /><br />When you achieve your freedom you will find many stages. Here are a few, yours may come in a different order or with different scenarios.<br /><br />1: you learn that you really are worthy of being loved. No bullshit, this feels <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">fanfuckingtabulous</span>.<br /><br />2: you find out you have been living the life of someone else. The someone the offender created. You begin to slowly create the person you choose to be. That is just fun as hell. Seriously.<br /><br />3: You find it easy to do things you could never do before. Standing out in a crowd, being bold and upfront, or maybe its something like accepting yourself as shy if that is just your way. Not weak and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">meek</span> but just a mellow watchful person who is curious of life and enjoys watching it quietly. That is really <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span> if that feels good to you (and its not out of fear).<br /><br />4: Finding your sexy YOU. FREEDOM ORGASMS.........they are really wonderful.<br /><br />5: Having no heavy weight on your heart. Having a clear <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">conscience</span>. The absolute knowing that you are not a victim anymore.<br /><br />6: Being able to share the peace, knowledge,honesty and love that you gained from your journey with others who could use a lift up.<br /><br />7: Looking in your children's eyes (if applicable) and knowing you have the understanding and know how to raise them to be able to love themselves as much as you love yourself. For real. Do that.<br /><br />Think on that last one for a minute. How much do you want your children to love and accept themselves just as God made them. (If its not God then mix in your own idea of creator or self preservation concept). When you imagine how much you desire this for them, now give that same effort to your own journey. Your ARE just as important as those children. They need your example to follow. Give them a good one.<br /><br />PEACE TO YOU ALLHopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-4145929741488819852009-06-23T02:04:00.000-07:002009-06-23T03:09:08.553-07:00Seriously Try ItI used to be insane, or maybe I was just a little crazy. Whatever, the label doesn't matter. What matters is what my behavior back then brought me to experience.<br /><br /> I had been on various medications. I'm pretty sure the doctors were experimenting most of this shit out on me. For real, who the fuck gives a 19yr old single mother on welfare lithium or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">klonopin</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">depakote</span> and God knows what else cause I sure can't remember. They kept me pretty doped up. I couldn't feel anymore. I suppose that was a good thing. I was after all a single teen mother on welfare alone with an infant to care for and NO support system what so ever. Who wants to be present for that?<br /><br /> My symptoms included, checking doors and windows several times a day and night, often causing me to not be able to sleep at night because I was so scared someone was going to break in. I also obsessed on my baby daddy. I followed him if I could and sat outside the place he was with his child in my arms or in a stroller. I just stood there staring and stewing. Sometimes he would talk to me and I would get crazy bitchy on his ass. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Hmmmm</span> I wonder why, but I wont go into that just yet. This is not meant to be a bitch fest post. I also cried a lot. I felt down and didn't see a positive future. Some times I would get a burst of energy and feel like I was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ok</span>, I would clean my house an take my kid to the park and do normal happy things. That never lasted long.<br /><br /><br /> So those were my symptoms and those fuckers put me on those strong drugs messing with my still growing body and mind. Am I upset about that? Yes I am. If they had simply put me in a therapists office and allowed me a safe place to share my life I might have been just fine. You see the real problem was never that I was crazy or bi-polar or whatever other messed up label they wanted to stick on me, it was just that I had a very hard life. One of the worst kinds of lives a child can have, riddled with sexual abuse, animal killing, physical and emotional abuse, forced to take part in adult acts with many adults, being told twisted lies of what should have been safe and sacred to any child, and the worst of all having no protector, no one to stand up for me and say NO MORE. It took me being old enough and big enough to be free of all that. It just seems so obvious to me now that if they had just asked me ANYTHING about my history they could have understood why I was a <span style="font-style: italic;">little</span> unstable.<br /><br />My suffering and symptoms continued into my 20's until I got a job at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">UCDavis</span> and finally got off welfare and was able to afford "real" medical insurance. I had a panic attack at work. It was actually one of many but this time someone else noticed. I was unable to hide it and the cat came scratching and screaming out of the bag. A co-worker found me curled under a chair in a office that I thought was never used. Apparently people used it for breaks. She says I was not responding to her and had a glazed over look. Something must have triggered my memory of abuse and my mind chose to go bye bye for a while and my body did what it knew to do when the mind went bye bye and that was to hide. Its amazing what muscle memory can do for a person.<br /><br />"When you're being hurt curl into a ball, they can hit less area if your in a little ball." This is from the mind of the victim, by no means do I think this way now.<br /><br /><br />So lets move on to the more pleasant point to his moment of sharing. I was given a real therapist. I was given regular sessions with her. We discovered together that I was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">in fact</span> NOT bi-polar or any other diagnosis related to some kind of physiological malfunction. No I had post traumatic stress disorder. I had seen such horrific things and survived such horrible physical abuse that my mind was tormented with it all. I need to learn new ways to cope, not be drugged up.<br /><br /> The therapist immediately put me in a (then) new group session with specific <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">therapeutic</span> coping skills lessons. It is called <a href="http://www.palace.net/%7Ellama/psych/dbt.html"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">DBT</span></a> or<br /><h1 style="font-weight: normal; font-family: arial;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy">Dialectical Behavioral Therapy</a></h1><br />It says in most places it works for people with borderline personalities but back then it was experimental so anyone who was half way functioning in the real world was able to be in the class. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">YaY</span> for me being half way functioning. I really did win on this one. This course save my life. It showed me an entirely new way to see life and view my past and deal with situations that otherwise would have put me under a chair or sweating and shaking in a closet.<br /><br /><br />One of my favorite techniques from the sessions was to not place any judgment or opinionated labels on anything or anyone. You would start out simple. On your lunch break, sit outside and just observe the clouds or buildings. Make mental notes of what you see.<br /><br />Example:<br /><br />the clouds are white. the clouds are moving westward from the wind.<br /><br />the building to my left is black, It has 10 floors. It has windows. One window is broken.<br /><br /><br />Yes I know this sounds a little idiotic. But to the person who is overwhelmed with judgments and poisonous mental history being able to just be and see without placing judgment helps so much. I use this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">technique</span> to this day over 10 yrs later. I still have the signs of panic attacks rise up in me. But I keep them at bay with this technique.<br /><br />Example:<br /><br />I'm walking into a crowded room full of people I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">don't</span> know. This is a source of stress for me. Without <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">DBT</span> I would turn and run. But now, I walk in and to myself say,<br /><br />" that person directly in front of me is wearing a blue shirt with stripes, he is a man, he has a mustache......etc" (this thought process stops my other thoughts, of "is he a child molester, is he going to rape me in the parking lot after this meeting......etc")<br /><br />I focus on these little facts until I feel completely ready to take part in the occasion. I am walking and moving through the crowd and just stating facts to myself.<br /><br />I do all of this now without even thinking. I have wonderful and healthy friendships, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">don't</span> allow unsafe people in my life, I have no drama, I am happy and secure.<br /><br />I seriously advise anyone who might need this course, take it. You can order it on line and do it yourself, or see your therapist.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-29940901130505729602009-06-23T00:42:00.000-07:002009-06-23T02:02:04.224-07:00I Have My Eye On You<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw-Fdn2F14jlrVmrmW00iduX4WipCQPoyOyFWAvjuyeXSP41eazbZI5HtpUYid9M27ALiaxrIlqU4eqey1ThZFoZ4AoX4fVKW5eW4O6zC_TWb27NP69XlYpi_MdXskh1I-p-F4uj48tV09/s1600-h/048.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw-Fdn2F14jlrVmrmW00iduX4WipCQPoyOyFWAvjuyeXSP41eazbZI5HtpUYid9M27ALiaxrIlqU4eqey1ThZFoZ4AoX4fVKW5eW4O6zC_TWb27NP69XlYpi_MdXskh1I-p-F4uj48tV09/s320/048.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350427711529087394" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /> The <span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">Scorpion</span>. Because you chose it. At 14 yrs old the scorpion seemed to be the only creature to fit you. Some day if you ever decide some other creature suits you better I have no problem letting you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tattoo</span> that creature on me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">I have my eye on you.</span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Dj</span>, because you are my first born. You changed my world, my way of thinking, and my heart. Your presents in this world made me see my life was worth living. You keep me going, you challenge me, you question me. You are amazing. Your heart is huge and you don't even know it yet. The turmoil you may experience now only means the man you will become is going to be wise and worthy of love and peace. Your art is amazing but you knew that. God gave you so many talents, never forget it. They are there under the surface waiting to be a part of your life. Do what you have to do now, be who ever you need to be for now and know that no matter what my love stands firm for you. You can never ever do anything to make me love you less. Just as it is with God it is with me.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqB6cG2Y9EFBNV7eQX5ER-xq42H7I6isgtdc0euxaqh4uZs3UG2g_14raJC4BrccJO6l6PRIKmQrop1zYMPKLvFCmYJGnm_5xLsqacaa0lio6hHdyvWwAvBJC0GzcvtV9u7tNtwjJF_t7/s1600-h/044.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 296px; height: 376px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqB6cG2Y9EFBNV7eQX5ER-xq42H7I6isgtdc0euxaqh4uZs3UG2g_14raJC4BrccJO6l6PRIKmQrop1zYMPKLvFCmYJGnm_5xLsqacaa0lio6hHdyvWwAvBJC0GzcvtV9u7tNtwjJF_t7/s320/044.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350427714571893890" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The <span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">butterfly</span> coming out of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cocoon</span>. You chose the butterfly. Most likely because its <span style="font-style: italic;">PRETTY </span>and that is just how you role. I chose to have you emerging from the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">cocoon</span> to symbolize the growth and change you have brought to my life. Through you I learn more of what it means to be feminine and enjoy it. I know its a slow process for mommy but I'm working on my love.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">I have my eye on you</span><br /><br /><br />You Rebekah, my whirlwind of feminine power. You have a spice to you that awakens my soul the true vigor and passion a young girl can have when given the freedom to do so. You have taught me so much in the short time I have known you. Your intellect has always astounded me. The fact that a small package like you can carry so much information is inspiring. I never want to drop the ball with you. You are my one and only female child and I will make sure you can live up to all your dreams and desires.<br /><br /> You will know unconditional love. I will do my very best to protect you without sheltering from all of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">life's</span> joys and sorrows. I know you will be fine because you are too much like me. Your mouth is big and no one does you wrong and gets away with it.<br /> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">HOOOYAHH</span> BABY GIRL!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpFQigc-yKvpQQYjvkaHChmQKPKuCp73N3c6KkHyo-ezQ-Y2OQgKN8qCwmqhzNPnx6d7CeRIJweLas_EidW7vPkNMwe8veIQDUOdEodoLqNlpClcYskdfkK3odOqMx1NzCZYag-eDihEeT/s1600-h/046.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 367px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpFQigc-yKvpQQYjvkaHChmQKPKuCp73N3c6KkHyo-ezQ-Y2OQgKN8qCwmqhzNPnx6d7CeRIJweLas_EidW7vPkNMwe8veIQDUOdEodoLqNlpClcYskdfkK3odOqMx1NzCZYag-eDihEeT/s320/046.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350427718802310850" border="0" /></a><br />The <span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">blue lady bug</span>. Well my sweet little boy. The lady bug was chosen for you because you just seemed to draw them to our home. During my ENTIRE pregnancy (even during times they should have been dormant) we saw lady bugs. They were in the yard, they came in the house, they were even in the yucky hospital room I had to give birth to you in. Yes living lady bugs crawling around in the light fixtures. I am told the presence of a lady bug is supposed to mean luck. I feel very lucky to always have you that is for sure. Well of course the lady bug had to be blue for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Blu</span>, that just makes sense.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">I have my eye on you</span><br /><br /><br />You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Blu</span>, My second boy. My sweetest child yet. Your heart is sensitive and warm. You feel deeply and even with your somewhat limited vocabulary you express your feelings so well.<br />"Me love you so big much mommy, you are my most <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">bestest</span> mommy ever." These words and others like them stop me in my tracks several times a day. You have no idea now just how important your loving and honest words are to me. I can be having the worst day, everything feels like its spinning out of control and you come around with, "mommy, you read me now, you read a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Bluey</span> a story, Oh thank you mommy THANK YOU." I could cry right now just thinking about your bright eyes and how your face lights up when you snuggle up next to me in the big comfy chair to read those books.<br /><br />Son you keep me sane, bring me down to earth where I belong. My center, my sweetness, my loving tender boy.<br /><br />Oh but let me not forget to mention you are also the most adventurous and quirky little man right now. Jumping off the couch(teaching brother to do it too), throwing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">doo</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">doo</span> at the house(took hours to get off), putting all the butt wipes in the toilet at once($228.00 plumbing bill), oh and now opening the front door and taking your baby brother for a walk down the block while daddy was in the backyard doing yard work. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Tisk</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Tisk</span> my boy, you sure wont ever be called boring.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju_JZkigMTLRNv5pB9YP71FTiT_mZiHnvJoK4SZSCEIgZo9RZKQKPtXkYeDwbpz3TAXUVlyp8nLdUqbqbvD1Ableb-CSCxvtNyC2oqmQTdHkkDs2qfXHPcOBYnBkP3MMon6N3zCCEq96hc/s1600-h/047.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju_JZkigMTLRNv5pB9YP71FTiT_mZiHnvJoK4SZSCEIgZo9RZKQKPtXkYeDwbpz3TAXUVlyp8nLdUqbqbvD1Ableb-CSCxvtNyC2oqmQTdHkkDs2qfXHPcOBYnBkP3MMon6N3zCCEq96hc/s320/047.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350427733028777074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The <span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">turtle</span>. For you the turtle was chosen. One reason was that turtles have the strength and determination to what nature intended for them to do. You ever watch one of those shows where the turtle has to fight the tides to get to the beach to bury its eggs and you will understand. Birthing the right way, they know what it takes and they do it. That was what you brought to my life. I learned with you inside of me how to birth the way my body was meant to birth. It took strength and determination and I did it. <br />Oh it also helps that while I was pregnant with you we rescued a 3 legged turtle and when it was healthy released it into the wild. That was fun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">I have my eye on you</span><br /><br />You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Greysin</span>, I will always be thankful for the opportunity to birth you. What a time in my life. You are a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">testament</span> to the strength it took. You carry with you that strength. You take so much shit from your brothers and sister and yet you stand tall. Sure you cry some now but shoot you are only 20 months old. You seem to have a bit of a stubborn streak. I wonder where that comes from......eh em.....not from me right?<br /><br />You give the best hugs. Every morning I get to wake to your smiling face and your tiny arms around my neck. Your just now learning to really communicate well with your words. Your sign language is dwindling, but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">that's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">ok</span> its the way it should be as you grow. I love it when you just want to lay on mommy. You lift my shirt and then lift yours and lay your naked tummy on mine. You <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">hum</span> a comforting hum and slowly melt into my body as if you never left it. If you end up being my last child I will be content and so lucky to have you and all the love and warmth you bring.<br /><br />Let me not forget, you also like to wipe your boogers proudly on everything but tissue or your own shirt. You run when we need to change your diaper, you try to ride the dog, you stick your hand/fist in the dogs mouth all the time, you attack your brothers and sister randomly throughout the day and act like they started it. You are a brave boy and learn quickly. Your a lot of fun to raise.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-33428239550106455272009-06-22T23:30:00.000-07:002009-06-23T00:34:53.737-07:00Dont Put Baby In A CornerI know I am the only one who can stand up and proclaim this, so I will.<br /><br /> "NO ONE PUTS HOPE IN THE CORNER"<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" > not even Hope</span><br /><br /><br /><br /> That is how I'm feeling right now. Why I would ever associate myself with a timid girl brought out of her shell to show off her talents by an older man escapes me right now. The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">identification</span> was strong for me so I went with it. To save myself from another dry patch of not writing I feel the need to do a good "<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">vomiting</span>" so I can hopefully be re-inspired to carry on.<br />Its <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">therapeutic</span> for me to write. I need to do it. I should not be so damn worried that I am not as sophisticated and well spoken as many of the works I have read recently. (and for fucks sake i just spent the last hour trying to link many of them but my computer kept freezing up <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">every time</span>.....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">grrrrrr</span></span>)<br /><br /> I was trying to do all the right things. Read great books, read well written blogs<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"></span>, read a few reviews of writers. I even wasted some time reading bad <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">blogs</span> to see the direction I don't want to go. All of this lead me to the lovely place of comparisons. Me judging myself against these others. Oh that shit just pisses me off. I have spent so many years working the fucked up judgemental bullshit out of my repertoire(courtesy of my <span style="font-style: italic;">lovely</span> well meaning mother). It's something I pride myself on not doing to total strangers, why do I think its going to be productive to do it to myself. I don't. I know its wrong.<br /><br />Letter to Self:<br /><br />To the chick hiding in the corner,<br /><br /> Oh just knock that shit off Hope, really. You are you.....you have not lived the life of those people, they have not lived yours. Each persons path is unique to their life and shutting yourself off because someone else can use bigger and more eloquent words, only makes you a wimp and a loser. To give up, means it's really not that important to you.<br /><br /> Stand up do what you want and write write write. It feels good doesn't it? Yes it does! Go with that. Be a dork, be sexy, be creative, fuck it be boring if that's all you have that day. Just keep writing.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Your Balls from deep with in<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Ok</span></span>. I did it. I broke my short spell of silence.<br /><br />Inspiration I'm looking for you and Muse you better be ready to work.<br /><br />I can read those other works and be inspired by fellow writers. I can learn from them and move my own passion forward and watch it grow into something great for me and if I'm lucky others will enjoy it also.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-35229880219989674712009-06-06T23:21:00.000-07:002009-06-16T00:00:42.436-07:00Go with the flow<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPZweUgKrIuRZtzMLo9nzz6Ab2X3xWFsQXAf0xtNwxVTrN9yYAywpY7gHTfTUuyrOBfGaOJ0ltmKemvMlGEflT38nMfpRCjj8nxMP0PtFGgTgTh-la4hB25GeaIoRlZG1PLLVnNrhQ8GEw/s1600-h/gray+hair+lady.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 170px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPZweUgKrIuRZtzMLo9nzz6Ab2X3xWFsQXAf0xtNwxVTrN9yYAywpY7gHTfTUuyrOBfGaOJ0ltmKemvMlGEflT38nMfpRCjj8nxMP0PtFGgTgTh-la4hB25GeaIoRlZG1PLLVnNrhQ8GEw/s200/gray+hair+lady.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344476420329655186" border="0" /></a><br />I met the me of 20yrs from now. She is wonderful. Long flowing gray hair, skin worn but in all the right smile line places, eyes bright, and mood optimistic. Her body is plump but she doesn't show any signs of shame. Her manner is flowing and friendly and open she is very receptive. She is living happily with her husband and last few children under 18yrs old. Taking time to go to college, paint, read, inspire,love,being bold, fearing nothing, listening to those little voices and believing the inspirational premonition style dreams that have filled our minds since we can remember dreaming.<br /><br />What a blessing it was to speak with her today. It's not often you meet someone of such a drastically different age that can relate to you so well. We shared our various stories over a period of maybe 4 hours. I asked her questions as if I might never see her again. I felt as if I were in a story I read once by Richard Bach called "<a href="http://www.inner-growth.info/private/books/bridge_intro.htm">The Bridge Across Forever</a>".<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBFu52qBp-uDvusMIrwgyWtfNQ1HqpbtefA932vDu_uDKzu3jrHDBcpEWh3FVxQyOPYbJDIPu-0ZIgmgDrjiTmhfi34vov3vpNZw37_MYa5LY5soqc1tM1OlagTDO4jv-jzjciqUhfxNa/s1600-h/029.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 179px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBFu52qBp-uDvusMIrwgyWtfNQ1HqpbtefA932vDu_uDKzu3jrHDBcpEWh3FVxQyOPYbJDIPu-0ZIgmgDrjiTmhfi34vov3vpNZw37_MYa5LY5soqc1tM1OlagTDO4jv-jzjciqUhfxNa/s200/029.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344478459778903186" border="0" /></a> Considering I had just met this woman here in my front yard during my yard sale, you might think I was being forward asking such questions as, " why didn't you choose to tell him you lost the babies?" or "do you have any techniques to improve how often you have those kinds of dreams?" Even though I believe she knew I only asked the questions to confirm my own suspicions that I already knew the answers. My questions flowed to her and were received warmly. She answered openly and honestly and with great detail. As I would to anyone who asked me anything. I am always amazed when I can have such a strong connection to someone like this (without the aid of shrooms). She understood me as I understood her. It was like we really were one person standing in this yard at 2 different stages of our one life.<br /><br />So, once again I am thankful for going with the flow of the day. My plan to have a successful yard sale were stamped out by the entrance of this charming lady. She was my first customer selling her 50 dollars worth of my stuff, which she picked out and paid for during the first 5 minutes she was on my lawn. During the time she and I spoke(4hours) we were only interrupted once by a woman who was 87 years old. I don't want to freak you out but she too was a wonderful and bold person with stories of strength and triumph. She left after only 30 minutes as she was quite tired and needed to rest and we understood. Her presence was also a good and warm feeling. Hours later it occurred to me how she too was connected to this experience we shared.<br /><br />I'm going to set up again for another yard sale tomorrow. My hope is my future self will return and we can sit and talk for a few more hours. Understanding that life doesn't always flow how I want it to, I might just end up with selling all my crap and making 300 dollars. That would work for me too.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-76091915528868139882009-06-03T23:15:00.000-07:002009-06-16T00:01:13.447-07:00Urban DictionaryI swear I didn't know this existed. I was on a different computer and was looking for my blog. I typed in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">hopenminded</span> and the search came back with <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hopen%27%20minded">this</a> . I had no idea there was a dictionary entry on me.<br /><br />It made me giggle inside as I thought of the many people who really did NOT like me when they first met me (online). After some time of them tolerating my "hippie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">dippie</span> happy" view on life and my openness to most ideas, no matter how strange they seemed to main stream society, most of these people came to understand me better and most actually like me. A few just tolerate me or ignore me and I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ok</span> with that. I understand everyone is different and needs different influences in there life.<br /><br />I am always amazed at this life we live. It's such a fun journey. I love the growth and change that comes with age and experience. I don't know exactly why I get to be so (for the most part) peaceful NOW, but I am so thankful for it. Maybe its true that all things must have balance in life. My childhood was the stuff of horror movies, so it only makes sense that now I should be happy and safe.<br /><br />I have a strong passion to give peace to others. I want so much to bring them this feeling I have. I am not exactly sure how to do it. I'm searching for my way in this one. I know I wont fit into a traditional therapists "chair". No I need something with a wider spectrum. I need to be free to give the truth from my heart and mind not from just a text book. I think they call these people Life Coaches. Sounds kinda wacky to some, but in my search I have found so many people looking to Life Coaches to help them change their lives. What a wonderful way for me to share my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hopenmindedness</span>.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-88619434995693078282009-06-03T01:21:00.000-07:002009-06-16T00:21:18.062-07:00I'll show you mine, now you show me your's<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>I really enjoy snooping on the lives of total strangers. Particularly when they share it in picture form and make fun of themselves. So get to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">snoopin</span>' on mine and share yours. If you have a blog that gives me a good <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">picture </span>of your life I want to see it.<br /><br /><br /><br />Let me start by saying <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">I'm</span> so wonderfully intelligent that God blessed me with a 5 head to fit all the brain matter in one spectacularly shiny spot. Oh and I absolutely love dying my hair.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi9JAwiQafVuVnhltPalPTYZIzH0duI0sRmJ3dUcTMCmKrjeFhF23juqVJdtIP7bW27bYWeCc5VvTxariBU6IHLEIODf6IWX-_VKbipl9KM9L8-a4XyMc488xqnMHtuan4pcfrUZWLwrwR/s1600-h/115.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 235px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi9JAwiQafVuVnhltPalPTYZIzH0duI0sRmJ3dUcTMCmKrjeFhF23juqVJdtIP7bW27bYWeCc5VvTxariBU6IHLEIODf6IWX-_VKbipl9KM9L8-a4XyMc488xqnMHtuan4pcfrUZWLwrwR/s200/115.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343016937002408578" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />I have eaten 2 waffles with natural <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">peanut butter</span> and cream cheese with a squish of honey every morning for the last 2 months. Cause I like to beat a dead horse. Someday I will stop eating this and move onto something else just as odd and beat that horse too. Its my way damn it, so fucking deal with it. Get it? <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">OK</span>? Good! I'm glad we see eye to eye on this one.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaVoFTUc2Sr8wnC9UkKUkLEeTv4eHr1SE8uCqujI5AVFAsIvG3SwFLh55uiY2o8gDoCgcammXiRQL-Of2CQB4GJR9BWYWrwVf49NmvwqZQbjfQ12NRMz54gzgHC19otzlPz2t5S8xPA3Ij/s1600-h/022.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 122px; height: 92px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaVoFTUc2Sr8wnC9UkKUkLEeTv4eHr1SE8uCqujI5AVFAsIvG3SwFLh55uiY2o8gDoCgcammXiRQL-Of2CQB4GJR9BWYWrwVf49NmvwqZQbjfQ12NRMz54gzgHC19otzlPz2t5S8xPA3Ij/s200/022.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343018147437221842" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I'm the type of person to research and learn as much as humanly possible about something before I take it on in my life. Any of my online group friends may tell you I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">don't</span> give up till I feel qualified. I am sure I have annoyed many people with all my inquiries. I eventually felt I had enough info to properly care for a pregnant dog (then her puppies came) from a shelter. She and pups lived with me till they weaned (cause <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">I'm</span> big on the <a href="http://www.breastfeedingfacts.com/index.php">breastfeeding stuff</a>) and we got those little shit machines out of our house and into loving homes somewhere else.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9_QjRsafoer1c97Kd1kZSH1kiSodLnsXazUnPNm4MPoUAmBQlo7keEJj9h1hyVK-Q5GE9u9RCJ8cBviaSSvwMXnJQH09mB-Ng3eUC9TKGEY7HzjnQBYzYQNEQDDcxBe81TEnoZfx12diJ/s1600-h/100_4133.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9_QjRsafoer1c97Kd1kZSH1kiSodLnsXazUnPNm4MPoUAmBQlo7keEJj9h1hyVK-Q5GE9u9RCJ8cBviaSSvwMXnJQH09mB-Ng3eUC9TKGEY7HzjnQBYzYQNEQDDcxBe81TEnoZfx12diJ/s200/100_4133.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343035303169530770" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I love me some pussy. No not that kind of pussy. If I meant that I would say Vagina. On that subject I do think <a href="http://www.rant-here.com/drupal/photos/your-dirty-mind.jpg">mine</a> is pretty damn <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">awesome</span>.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipU9_DWFP0eCpU_0n4F-9ubFjqo-4Y63sW9tIY8_jFqvrfNQ-BSl0ZDIgAlcXA4az14BkRVGpGCSDjjkFVvivuzf4nKvbL8bIt-gDdJQAUmbjLPAR1zqSnDQAXudL6HuDtpu7jqZLHdkXD/s1600-h/101.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 285px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipU9_DWFP0eCpU_0n4F-9ubFjqo-4Y63sW9tIY8_jFqvrfNQ-BSl0ZDIgAlcXA4az14BkRVGpGCSDjjkFVvivuzf4nKvbL8bIt-gDdJQAUmbjLPAR1zqSnDQAXudL6HuDtpu7jqZLHdkXD/s200/101.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343016934529892802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />I have a big bulging <a href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/thIMG_0034.jpg">belly</a>. I think it has something to do with all the human beings that grew in that area. Plus eating a lot of really good food and drinking excellent<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y39JehmZO4&feature=player_embedded"> beer</a>. I have no issues with my body. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">I'm</span> quite happy in it. I like it to be strong so I do work out, and eventually the truth of that will show in the pics, but I'm not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">trippin</span>. If you ever catch me blogging about some anorexic bullshit, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">I'm</span> deserving of a reality check or possible just swift kick in the ass and good imported beer.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrw6r_A8HZkVZsNZGxd6pLabN3UI4NdsfbKYWGZCkBkUy8kuX6g-HYk8IASVUMG3NGtjFVEWhnaOZtvZJbCkLIzVKCO7infCIyKC6iGg2oCo-QxkBgDohBAoeE7zainIpmv_VeQHpvBalH/s1600-h/093.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 186px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrw6r_A8HZkVZsNZGxd6pLabN3UI4NdsfbKYWGZCkBkUy8kuX6g-HYk8IASVUMG3NGtjFVEWhnaOZtvZJbCkLIzVKCO7infCIyKC6iGg2oCo-QxkBgDohBAoeE7zainIpmv_VeQHpvBalH/s200/093.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343016924652442562" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I make my kids forage for their food. I think I may have mentioned this before. I know I sound like the worst mother in the world. Different strokes and all.<br /><br />Here we see I sent my wee ones out to get there own protein for the day. The small boy is doing quite well. I think he has the little black one in his sights. (I love you Melissa...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">heehee</span>)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg605JcE8LCxPcrB44TyZFxrz546ZRGwcKSkATntL0i_kUOyl8aY8vDO1esxW7O7UCTn_AglvltuuPqZv9dh82MbLKn_rTGNzn0DOydXKWwiAyWeWFm-o4TFsTxFCKYg1Y20oDPcvVG35YV/s1600-h/049.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 239px; height: 318px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg605JcE8LCxPcrB44TyZFxrz546ZRGwcKSkATntL0i_kUOyl8aY8vDO1esxW7O7UCTn_AglvltuuPqZv9dh82MbLKn_rTGNzn0DOydXKWwiAyWeWFm-o4TFsTxFCKYg1Y20oDPcvVG35YV/s200/049.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343016921467015298" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I do take very good care of my health though, I take ass loads of vitamins every morning. This is just half of them.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi21lMf7ejoDj7erirbIeJzZcq4gV0If7xplAPfsRRNbK0NHFgC83-0-uRPqsp4Ze6JkYm1upoj47FuiHzkitcxSbaK4B1xwdx4NlLCRwZpNd7vqUjHLKkVEgKV11PeRu5vAF8czYXqvnV8/s1600-h/021.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 123px; height: 92px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi21lMf7ejoDj7erirbIeJzZcq4gV0If7xplAPfsRRNbK0NHFgC83-0-uRPqsp4Ze6JkYm1upoj47FuiHzkitcxSbaK4B1xwdx4NlLCRwZpNd7vqUjHLKkVEgKV11PeRu5vAF8czYXqvnV8/s200/021.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015890493398290" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I take pain in a different way than many do. After learning how to <a href="http://s36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/?action=view&current=firstcry.flv">give birth at home</a>, I had a new respect for my body so instead of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">continuing</span> to pop out MORE kids even though it is totally kick ass, I chose to just put new holes in my body and spend hours letting someone <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">puncture</span> me with color soaked needles.<br /><br />This is my head before May 31<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">stish</span> ..............Oh and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">I'm</span> stretched to 7/16<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">ths</span> and my goal is 1.5inch.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq7aIeYV6HItMeMRv3f5Jt0f9zAYiF5ZIhc2LyG-TZh4FkYaHB6mT7vFD59iUB-6_0v6mpmb1ewGHxqnRQQkybBDE7dWymjX2z_1nbswLapGN38uQcNpImuAS3rc8WJsl2_1uz_ouda3V3/s1600-h/018.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 163px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq7aIeYV6HItMeMRv3f5Jt0f9zAYiF5ZIhc2LyG-TZh4FkYaHB6mT7vFD59iUB-6_0v6mpmb1ewGHxqnRQQkybBDE7dWymjX2z_1nbswLapGN38uQcNpImuAS3rc8WJsl2_1uz_ouda3V3/s200/018.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343014973729537698" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Here is my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">loverly</span> ear after getting poked on the 31<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">stish</span>. Its called the conch and yes <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">I'm</span> so childish that I want to say <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">cooch</span>. Its just who I am, man. I am too damn deep to be serious all the fucking time. Farts make me <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRzcl10U5k0&feature=player_embedded">laugh too.</a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcftftQc2SwOtGbySbEL3APmdZUsW7DdZXW4rbF6PSnBfgSyOedsvBCegqLslQOfxNgRuqy5M56_BDp96qItB_fA3xr-TBB1sds3l-NFtqu1hFSt-sEO0zaeaOri5TAnk2faZymHnEKZG/s1600-h/030.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 192px; height: 258px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcftftQc2SwOtGbySbEL3APmdZUsW7DdZXW4rbF6PSnBfgSyOedsvBCegqLslQOfxNgRuqy5M56_BDp96qItB_fA3xr-TBB1sds3l-NFtqu1hFSt-sEO0zaeaOri5TAnk2faZymHnEKZG/s200/030.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015681155549394" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I am<a href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/100_3620.jpg"> more</a> and <a href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/100_3622.jpg">more</a> complete the <a href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/100_2519.jpg">more</a> and <a href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/100_2521-1.jpg">more</a> of these I get. As my soul soars and my love grows so shall my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">beautiful</span> works of art. The goal is to be covered neck to feet by the time I'm 50. Oh and I like my new brown bra.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZ74K8gXBbivXCgPHSrNqHVXmgr7sZZgZoTaL_MIInoaXlNjhuxq_aCJCkMkg9T11YWRtTGeivmwxxskwoZF8TwA-GmwxZjGjuZx7NHapbLPsN6qu7kRfOLFNFMOyIEN7ZSOHc2q-q371/s1600-h/019.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZ74K8gXBbivXCgPHSrNqHVXmgr7sZZgZoTaL_MIInoaXlNjhuxq_aCJCkMkg9T11YWRtTGeivmwxxskwoZF8TwA-GmwxZjGjuZx7NHapbLPsN6qu7kRfOLFNFMOyIEN7ZSOHc2q-q371/s200/019.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015678824592546" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I feed my little blue duck better than my children. If that were true, I would not be blogging about how much ass wiping I do all day.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1kObcn3180MA1mAV9Zkt8FK9oGAVGQuJu2lvjssc2nIIkfGb4oVfQOWJsGL3lwXw4LB-GAl-M9YQOY9OrCva63B0MbgqnjVK719k9S6rjkPwlwkdGc9mIEf5y6lzcpsFi90BdaAdJ5NSa/s1600-h/001.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 241px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1kObcn3180MA1mAV9Zkt8FK9oGAVGQuJu2lvjssc2nIIkfGb4oVfQOWJsGL3lwXw4LB-GAl-M9YQOY9OrCva63B0MbgqnjVK719k9S6rjkPwlwkdGc9mIEf5y6lzcpsFi90BdaAdJ5NSa/s200/001.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015673595628578" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I dig my garden. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">haahaa</span> get it? Oh I'm such a dork sometimes. I also like to recycle as you can see with my old tires, painted <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">perty</span> to grow my veggies for this season. They are doing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">really</span> well, the only issue I face is the CAT SHIT (mentioned in <a href="http://hopenmind.blogspot.com/2009/05/full-of-shit.html#links">a previous blog</a>) Hence all the wooden skewers you see. That little turd is still pooing in there.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifTtvyyVPOAlmEj0KwjghojbUGn6BSPMXYhYOmroDc2-ovJOfaGr4sT5qGdQGbwMxFdxae-sg6CVy0CYVlUFP1ckwommRabAvquKc1aklXYJFMtgwqQlHyOl4wihAP5j19EhxI81s2O2AO/s1600-h/006.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifTtvyyVPOAlmEj0KwjghojbUGn6BSPMXYhYOmroDc2-ovJOfaGr4sT5qGdQGbwMxFdxae-sg6CVy0CYVlUFP1ckwommRabAvquKc1aklXYJFMtgwqQlHyOl4wihAP5j19EhxI81s2O2AO/s200/006.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015669939660658" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This is how I look on most days. No make up no frills unless you consider the holes and tattoos frills then and only then could you call me a frilly girl. gag. Darn it I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">don't</span> think I got a single good shot of my septum piercing. Oh well this leaves me open to blog about my nose right?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwolTXqxXip8rWYBIol2M58UjrV6vZ0IRPGe-VXQvPpoZbSO4kOkOiXtAQKvQF6oJAOC4Si7uzWhkAVon92gOGDAu2TQzDbNWGDHPeeh0oY7yPxCuIBsN3feYvAJUXMWFqxFhrtsWT-c8-/s1600-h/026.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwolTXqxXip8rWYBIol2M58UjrV6vZ0IRPGe-VXQvPpoZbSO4kOkOiXtAQKvQF6oJAOC4Si7uzWhkAVon92gOGDAu2TQzDbNWGDHPeeh0oY7yPxCuIBsN3feYvAJUXMWFqxFhrtsWT-c8-/s200/026.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343015666216458002" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I take my writing seriously. So while reading <a href="http://blog.tonypierce.com/2004/06/how-to-blog-by-tony-pierce-110-1.htm">instructional blogging</a> sites I may seriously partake in a corona. I came up with some pretty good shit that night.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheArXjXA4Rr4xCh4n5qBZoaF6WG9xYtjznb8dwkroNGAcACdR537VA75tizc1S5xgMy-svNSv3qOa7h3PoN4bEiJdd1QD-dbpD0COUNT6eUYkrTGrqckl8TBa-ZviOUFJ9DbSfmyEvUoVX/s1600-h/015.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 277px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheArXjXA4Rr4xCh4n5qBZoaF6WG9xYtjznb8dwkroNGAcACdR537VA75tizc1S5xgMy-svNSv3qOa7h3PoN4bEiJdd1QD-dbpD0COUNT6eUYkrTGrqckl8TBa-ZviOUFJ9DbSfmyEvUoVX/s200/015.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343014969779941058" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I have a walking stick for a pet. I'm not sure why this is interesting or noteworthy other than the fact that I doubt YOU have one. If I'm wrong then lets have walking stick play dates and do an arranged marriage quick cause I want a bunch of baby walking sticks around this place.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy95ufbJWWOkcW7xqWOYe5yHly3_na_2wrmhyphenhyphenOvbKCtumCAV_HPS6t72DMs93BSnMEf8icwCsgclKp-S5Wuik0cvmkgiabsuoQbsbsSmjqlW3dBTYTdJFMt-3ZRjB1lX7JQHtKR1bIll_S/s1600-h/002.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 284px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy95ufbJWWOkcW7xqWOYe5yHly3_na_2wrmhyphenhyphenOvbKCtumCAV_HPS6t72DMs93BSnMEf8icwCsgclKp-S5Wuik0cvmkgiabsuoQbsbsSmjqlW3dBTYTdJFMt-3ZRjB1lX7JQHtKR1bIll_S/s200/002.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343014965151035074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />People tell me I have really pretty eyes. I believe them.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwrMz7LrwH1mcc87Oxre7RbdoA9C-qLK2i0UhP3nLlWiHYom_ydkU1ICSixb7PtmEnZdb5TIgJcKQclxewa14yGVjrtYErgBnHDC6mmW4pockTFQHu5TxQpmW61JscmFPIHIIhjO9YpPp3/s1600-h/060.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 244px; height: 182px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwrMz7LrwH1mcc87Oxre7RbdoA9C-qLK2i0UhP3nLlWiHYom_ydkU1ICSixb7PtmEnZdb5TIgJcKQclxewa14yGVjrtYErgBnHDC6mmW4pockTFQHu5TxQpmW61JscmFPIHIIhjO9YpPp3/s200/060.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343014962187269426" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Here is our mama dog done being the mama and loving living with us. We have had her for about 8 months and its one of the most enriching experiences of my life owning, training and loving a dog. Yeah I know I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">mooshy</span> too. Wow this chick is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">multifaceted</span>. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3pDr5RPKNo6ka3pMkMMFLExOptw-0LKw2TK2yAfC5pKLsv1-4nVUJo7urS0TUF9o2XC4cWzK7NKumX2YcJqYzIfYsh8Pqsqvq8aA3LriVaYrH-DrOslkcZwm-FIN08Zyf8mZ032r7oMdX/s1600-h/039.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 273px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3pDr5RPKNo6ka3pMkMMFLExOptw-0LKw2TK2yAfC5pKLsv1-4nVUJo7urS0TUF9o2XC4cWzK7NKumX2YcJqYzIfYsh8Pqsqvq8aA3LriVaYrH-DrOslkcZwm-FIN08Zyf8mZ032r7oMdX/s200/039.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343014061041239890" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />You will rarely if ever see any pics of my husband because he doesn't care to have his face on the internet. I try to respect him but sometimes he is just too cute so I do it anyway.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-44295610689638434672009-05-30T22:50:00.000-07:002009-06-16T00:22:33.319-07:00My comfort zoneHey I had a rough fucking day today. I don't even care if this all comes out like the biggest SHITE you ever saw. Yeah sure, I had a little <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">klonopin</span> and a Corona light....with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">nummies</span> lime and salt thank you very much.<br /><br />So this is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">drunky</span> blogging I guess, or whatever catchy fucking phrase some "blogging expert" wants to give it.<br /><br />If i miss spell, hopefully spell check will catch it, if not then go ahead and crucify me I'm cool with it. I like a good spanking now and then. Give it to me baby UH huh UH HUH.<br /><br /><br /><br />Now to the<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2u0Cm_zpPsyFThVN8RDMRIXU7h_XOhqtZqZt0mKWQFEIZgETzTdeSUqfIBNDyawckvIt7PBcaXAxWDYuEo_aJJYofRepHy1RnNxRhQuwD4N8ZbGDLEdgBzJvSfn2ePU7e55Gg19aFi-P/s1600-h/Frozen_Meat.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 194px; height: 141px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2u0Cm_zpPsyFThVN8RDMRIXU7h_XOhqtZqZt0mKWQFEIZgETzTdeSUqfIBNDyawckvIt7PBcaXAxWDYuEo_aJJYofRepHy1RnNxRhQuwD4N8ZbGDLEdgBzJvSfn2ePU7e55Gg19aFi-P/s200/Frozen_Meat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341862786786810834" border="0" /> of my whole point here.</a><br /><br />I have a few ideas of what constitutes a good day. These are the kind of days that just give you that "life is fucking great and no one can fuck this up right now vibe."<br /><br />My day looks much like a white trash movie me thinks. Picture a slightly hot but fading mama ex rocker chick in her cut offs and black bra under a white wife beater shirt. She worked in her yard pulling weeds and mowing the lawn. All the cat shit is picked up the dog shit too. The kids toys are thrown all over the back yard and and the hard sided baby pool is set up in the back yard. Ice cubes in the freezer constantly being made to keep said pool cool as a cucumber.<br /><br />She is hot and sweaty. The kids are messing around independently around the house. Sure they are <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">diggin</span> in the fridge eating all the fruit which will give them the runs later, but that is later not now. Now is time for mama to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">reeeeelax</span>. Dishes need to be done, laundry could use some work, but the sun feels good and there is a slight breeze. Turn off the suck your brain box and turn ON the expand your mind and mood box with a little Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, and gimme some Janis Joplin please. Keep the good old songs rolling my way as I grab my cheap ass Corona with lime and salt to "fancy" it up and head on out the back step to the baby pool awaiting my arrival. Yes that's right mama is going to kick back with a small cooler stocked with beer and a baby pool to wade in until the kids pass out on the lawn from just having uninhibited fun. One of them is old enough to get me a snack if I need it and we have a corner to pee in so there is really no need for me to leave the comfort of my backyard.<br /><br />I have my phone near by and my friends call and ask what I'm doing. I tell them and of course they want to join me. Hey the more the merrier lets get this going. My friends show up with there kids ready to play with mine....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Yay</span> more free healthy entertainment. Of course I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">don't</span> know how healthy my kids are for theirs. As my kids are generally nude and running around like wild <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">beasties</span> but hey they are happy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">beasties</span>.<br /><br />So this is kick ass now, we have beer and friends and a baby <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">wading</span> pool to cool off in. Get the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">BBQ</span> started slap on some delectable cow or chicken and some <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">zucchini</span> and corn for my veggie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">lovin</span> friends and feed our faces. Making sure we are making enough noise to cause neighbors to inquire and possibly be invited over. In doing so maybe some more beer and more food and more kids will come.<br /><br />We relax and eat and party into the evening lighting a fire in the back yard fire pit sitting around the fire giving the kids <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">marshmallows</span> to roast and finishing off our beer. Telling stories and jokes till some of us fall over in our chairs.<br /><br />Some stay over and sleep on my floor or that one guy we found in the emptied baby pool the next day. Its a wonderful life when you wake up to an environment like that. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">I'm</span> not kidding <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">I'm</span> not making fun. This shit is really my idea of a fully good time.<br /><br />Don't forget my friend Kelly would get up and make everyone a kick ass breakfast and bloody Mary's to help us all out with our headaches.<br /><br />I love my life. I love having simplicity and basic wants covered. Its who I am. So sorry I don't fit into your country club life style or private school that costs you half your pay check. I'm only sorry cause it means you don't want to know me and darn it I'm a pretty kick ass chick to hang with.....in a baby wading pool with a beer and wife beater on.<br /><br /><br />sorry no pics this time, I'm too tipsy to function that progressively at the moment. Maybe tomorrow I will edit and add some...or maybe i will read this and delete it. So your lucky if you get to read it before my sober mind comes back.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH2u0Cm_zpPsyFThVN8RDMRIXU7h_XOhqtZqZt0mKWQFEIZgETzTdeSUqfIBNDyawckvIt7PBcaXAxWDYuEo_aJJYofRepHy1RnNxRhQuwD4N8ZbGDLEdgBzJvSfn2ePU7e55Gg19aFi-P/s1600-h/Frozen_Meat.jpg"> </a>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-19245518055645324222009-05-30T13:34:00.000-07:002009-05-30T17:20:13.068-07:00So, you got this parenting thing in the bag huhIf you have it in the bag then that must mean the rest of the world are idiots and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">don't</span> have a clue. Casting your judgments out on others because from your experience that just <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">didn't</span> work or the way you grew up it was so ego squashing to be forced to wear a school uniform. So you are going to always do the opposite of what your parents did.<br /><br />Oh isn't that how a good parent does it? They always strive to make their child's life somehow better than their experience. If you were sheltered then you over expose them. If you were <a href="http://www.childhelp.org/resources/learning-center/statistics">beaten</a> you go as far as to not even <a href="http://http//www.wikihow.com/Discipline-a-Child-Effectively-Without-Spanking">spank</a> sometimes going deeply into the world of <a href="http://http//www.attachmentparenting.org/">attachment parenting</a> losing all perspective on other possibilities and becoming judgmental of all other parenting choices. Maybe your parents were up your ass all the time (<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">attached</span>) and you choose to go the other way and give your kids freedom of self expression and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">don't</span> want to hinder them by being "too involved", because then you might somehow negatively influence or squash there creative integrity. Of course your way must be the best way because its total opposite of what your parents did. No one can tell you different.<br /><br />Well hot damn that sounds like a lot of bullshit <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://jeffrey-davis.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/bullshit.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 144px; height: 195px;" src="http://jeffrey-davis.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/bullshit.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> doesn't it. So somehow we are going to fix our childhoods by going in the total opposite direction of our parents with our own kids. You ever wonder if some of our parents thought the same damn thing and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">that's</span> why we are so fucked up now. Yes, there is a connection. In reality we may fuck them up just as bad or worse because every child is different and therefore requires a open minded approach to their abilities and needs to learn successfully. Trying to squish all children into your little parenting book style <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">repertoire</span> of rules and sure fire solutions is only one narrow minded way to parent. Who knows it may work for one or two of your kids. Giving you the illusion you have found the key, the end all be all answer to parenting. A few good thoughts to consider are:<br /><br /><span class="body">The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins148802.html">Albert Einstein</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/haroldwils104500.html">Harold Wilson</a> </span><br /><br /><br /><span class="body">"Common sense</span><span class="body"> is not so common.</span> "<br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/v/voltaire106180.html">Voltaire</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fscottfit100572.html">F. Scott Fitzgerald</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/arthurscho163700.html">Arthur Schopenhauer</a> </span><br /><br /><br /><span class="body">I'm not offended by all the dumb <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">blonde</span> jokes because I know I'm</span><span class="body"> not dumb... and I also know that I'm not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">blonde</span>.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dollyparto106181.html">Dolly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Parton</span></a> </span> (just making sure your paying attention)<br /><br /><span class="body">"Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think."</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/ralphwaldo121093.html">Ralph Waldo Emerson</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/brucebarto173550.html">Bruce Barton</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">"Extreme law is often extreme injustice.</span>"<br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/terence380684.html">Terence</a> </span><br /><br /><span class="body">Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions.</span><br /><span class="bodybold"> <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/friedrichn159188.html">Friedrich Nietzsche</a><br /><br /></span> I love that all of these great people shared such insightful ideas, now who says we cant take them and apply them to how we view our parenting and that of others.<br /><br /><br />Of course the closed minded view that "my way is the best/only way" is so common and has plagued us for all time. So <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">don't</span> feel bad if you found yourself falling into this trap at some point in your life. We see it in the big things like <a href="http://http//www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19920901-000009.html">battle of the sexes</a>, <a href="http://http//www.gripe4rkids.org/his.html">gang affiliations and violence</a>, <a href="http://http//news.aol.com/newsbloggers/2008/08/11/homebirth-midwives-vs-doctors/">birthing choices</a> and <a href="http://mitworld.mit.edu/video/572">all wars</a>. All the way down to the small things like how to wear your hair, who makes the better brand of anything, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">don't</span> shop at <a href="http://http//www.walmartmovie.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">WALMART</span></a> or you're evil too, and rap and punk will rot your brain. Really people, if you take a look at some of the views you hold so closely to and just try to step outside your tiny world for a second you might see that not everyone is like you, not every child is like you think they should be and that little fact is a blessing not a curse. Heck even your own children could be missing something essential to bring them to there true potential because your too stubborn to realize some other method or idea just might work better. The fact that people are different and require differing environments to blossom is part of what <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">separates</span> us from the beasts. Our diverse natural humanity creates the colorful and talented world we should all desire. Unless you have headupyourass disease like these poor individuals<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMOylk_cVKVfGMogVOj-4n03l96iVLzmXLeWmZLYCNgGOxZl-ADNIfcp40J7WOzBy9sBppgvi12hSgA2ZQ5oxU_Ez8oA72l5T1S13xkt07Kdq2tsGormGBHL6O__23O6_otG057y1SCyrm/s1600-h/KKK.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 304px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMOylk_cVKVfGMogVOj-4n03l96iVLzmXLeWmZLYCNgGOxZl-ADNIfcp40J7WOzBy9sBppgvi12hSgA2ZQ5oxU_Ez8oA72l5T1S13xkt07Kdq2tsGormGBHL6O__23O6_otG057y1SCyrm/s200/KKK.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341775203444950674" border="0" /></a><br /> you will be able to take a step off your high horse and consider that we are all doing our best and others ideas and your ideas co-mingled can bring wonderful success to parenting.<br /><br />To say that you have a strong belief in how a child should be brought up is your right and often very admired. I'm not trying to say everyone should just second guess every single thing they do for there kids. I'm just wishing that we had a better sense of community and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">camaraderie</span> in being parents in this world together. Why does one choice or method have to be ridiculous just because its not how you would do it. Save yourself the frustration and heart ache and rejoice in the various positive and well thought out methods of other parents. Maybe then they will find it easier to see your choices as respectable also. Accept that no matter what we do there is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">undoubtedly</span> going to be some issue our child brings back to us later and complains we sucked at X,Y, and Z.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"></span>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-47579694252864809992009-05-29T00:58:00.000-07:002009-05-29T02:02:12.572-07:00Saving one good guy at a timeOur action hero's day started off like any other day. Getting ready for school. Making crazy faces at their mom.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwEaBQ-FDAo4B4Em8ti0GrgGmiP74WGEsIl3-dhfG-Hn9jhBw3NAsLqcs6wW-pRkZWIpAnAKIGxAhcnPr7lZmfaYSWlJ4jGdY374BJ4x9v9kOr9PZcyl2U7kdnHEeYSmsAmhLoVL60Vrld/s1600-h/083.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwEaBQ-FDAo4B4Em8ti0GrgGmiP74WGEsIl3-dhfG-Hn9jhBw3NAsLqcs6wW-pRkZWIpAnAKIGxAhcnPr7lZmfaYSWlJ4jGdY374BJ4x9v9kOr9PZcyl2U7kdnHEeYSmsAmhLoVL60Vrld/s200/083.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341155656072232194" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Then out of no where life got a little dangerous and strange. First Miss Fussy Pants was run over by a seahorse.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMCWfpo0NB_x0XIuALH39xMH24Zyub7YEJRq2UrtObJPrejw_iJKJsaz6IE_6got7e_eHyOilkrt_NnU2yz20jrktzjU6ySa9qO_ATM5OUcV09j4CJvL_51VP5lNjmPegP28sHDcSM-PxQ/s1600-h/112.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 259px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMCWfpo0NB_x0XIuALH39xMH24Zyub7YEJRq2UrtObJPrejw_iJKJsaz6IE_6got7e_eHyOilkrt_NnU2yz20jrktzjU6ySa9qO_ATM5OUcV09j4CJvL_51VP5lNjmPegP28sHDcSM-PxQ/s200/112.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341155654623379458" border="0" /></a><br /><br />We soon discovered this was just a distraction plan by the evil and treacherous Mr. Slime. He laughed at our hero's as his evil plan to kill all the Lady Bug Guards went into action.<br /><br />The lady bugs work for our hero's Miss Fussy Pants and Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Bluey</span>. They guard the threshold of the fortress and warn of incoming spies......the Sneaky Aphid <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Infiltrators</span>.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi01zbose-FR9gyC0bJ_2iNY6Ta-vyBxLMgTYgFQadJDwlqmGUbw7W11qJjijIX-QaU1zdQNR0Jka4WgO2ougKXZL-sgxaikg6KrQFxc9feC04Uk-4v7Kkq1Ox5zXh2wFwVsXPnzEvH83_K/s1600-h/002.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 457px; height: 313px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi01zbose-FR9gyC0bJ_2iNY6Ta-vyBxLMgTYgFQadJDwlqmGUbw7W11qJjijIX-QaU1zdQNR0Jka4WgO2ougKXZL-sgxaikg6KrQFxc9feC04Uk-4v7Kkq1Ox5zXh2wFwVsXPnzEvH83_K/s200/002.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341152956196880498" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Little did Mr. Slimy know Miss Fussy Pants and Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Bluey</span> had a plan to trap Mr. Slimy and his Snail Trail Troopers. Their punishment would be the salt mines.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_sio383opYhOP7M3r1LofvG2GA_YKMwqKZC7XJ4eTFjbmZ0RxOjklya6NCJnAD4KtKzdy_ZbL6YzNqgVh_Gqou1yGAz7wm7hdxYtwVHRmTfBbSioa4I6N7Z8LJDTIPRT4AzddPGIAERQ/s1600-h/003.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 338px; height: 252px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_sio383opYhOP7M3r1LofvG2GA_YKMwqKZC7XJ4eTFjbmZ0RxOjklya6NCJnAD4KtKzdy_ZbL6YzNqgVh_Gqou1yGAz7wm7hdxYtwVHRmTfBbSioa4I6N7Z8LJDTIPRT4AzddPGIAERQ/s200/003.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341152949986344066" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sadly the Snail Trail Troopers had been able to get some of the Lady Bug Guards into the pit of no return. Thinking quickly Miss Fussy Pants and Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Bluey</span> called for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Giganto</span> Hand Lady to come and whisk them off to save the Lady Bug Guards from death.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX__YJMS6zdniP3FIFFdWOvulY14-UfK5QPasvihbnRlcH1UDvAIAI4wvuaY9EXaHTPAiFoLUlFsA_me4xXi8Fu_TlQp5eJ5TppmMuO67b4V9GXCk1RG5YHmknxRTV-BIWTI1ca5mMCj_p/s1600-h/036.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX__YJMS6zdniP3FIFFdWOvulY14-UfK5QPasvihbnRlcH1UDvAIAI4wvuaY9EXaHTPAiFoLUlFsA_me4xXi8Fu_TlQp5eJ5TppmMuO67b4V9GXCk1RG5YHmknxRTV-BIWTI1ca5mMCj_p/s200/036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341153835493348146" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Giganto</span> Hand Lady gently placed the Hero's down at the edge of the pit of no return.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdkS76Q1mvovwzzIuAaAF-_rvHD57A-eNx0EG4KtC7lDkHoGNfBIeaytR8gMLXDB4FojQ29MplaqoHwMaxerJlVEObvINrtnnq8-dtAfWjT3YarHvtzJGLJwjsigHAmjYleBSRXJYuc0Aj/s1600-h/039.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdkS76Q1mvovwzzIuAaAF-_rvHD57A-eNx0EG4KtC7lDkHoGNfBIeaytR8gMLXDB4FojQ29MplaqoHwMaxerJlVEObvINrtnnq8-dtAfWjT3YarHvtzJGLJwjsigHAmjYleBSRXJYuc0Aj/s200/039.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341154207720502002" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Bluey</span> did the dirty work getting deep inside the pit to fish out the dying Lady Bug Guards. It was tedious and dangerous work but his heart drove him on.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW933urjSBCWPEXqFxNMjbgDAHD-5S6KvoafIPZjRhAlaT5EfAA-OaMg0rhtq5AU1XQ9gm5kOzuqaLWInNs7HufZeIRa79ngL7RiZJ4nri-NkH7RcXToGw83_evDCpPjnxmnq8_3Qxb9O_/s1600-h/027.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW933urjSBCWPEXqFxNMjbgDAHD-5S6KvoafIPZjRhAlaT5EfAA-OaMg0rhtq5AU1XQ9gm5kOzuqaLWInNs7HufZeIRa79ngL7RiZJ4nri-NkH7RcXToGw83_evDCpPjnxmnq8_3Qxb9O_/s200/027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341154216030822322" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Miss Fussy Pants waited on the edge of the pit to safely carry any injured Lady Bugs to safety.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6wym1ABNy2rIxWD4n6rW3voVeU4eyfSBBPtlvmj31z6fQclCHxqrB0BHiLEawrq3U5JYWKOVdZUjnJarevMDV3spPaQmU5WLCj6tS91vBIBvH3TUFACJM8mtSbDkhc_byR5j5Pmcaneo5/s1600-h/037.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 276px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6wym1ABNy2rIxWD4n6rW3voVeU4eyfSBBPtlvmj31z6fQclCHxqrB0BHiLEawrq3U5JYWKOVdZUjnJarevMDV3spPaQmU5WLCj6tS91vBIBvH3TUFACJM8mtSbDkhc_byR5j5Pmcaneo5/s200/037.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341153841282061186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />She was successful in saving one very wet but special Lady Bug. The leader of the Guards Two Tone Tony.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMUZcgTv6ZqFrOmoEKTNiZG7PTnv8l2wjnj_8-KupATUmTyNydKlF8io-X-Sl1a4_mxSOrC2EdFmXyJRVGZUEnAipMEhAS46snDhzrV5rc7GGgd5v2BXRfvtInhq-oYM2pQPDzMpla1vXo/s1600-h/025.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 266px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMUZcgTv6ZqFrOmoEKTNiZG7PTnv8l2wjnj_8-KupATUmTyNydKlF8io-X-Sl1a4_mxSOrC2EdFmXyJRVGZUEnAipMEhAS46snDhzrV5rc7GGgd5v2BXRfvtInhq-oYM2pQPDzMpla1vXo/s200/025.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341153828921051442" border="0" /></a><br /><br />His special outer covering was like no other guard. It set him apart and made the others look up to him. Its no wonder he survived. He is one strong Bug.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XjpvyI7O2T3K0uh5XA75LqrORyNNNh583hs6G-jAGmVQ3k2jUtJZzs82C-Z8kLUbhQb4_ZSmKVkQtqkVGChBsg0EDEn6Uoa-yDDjKx4HcAo2BKuKpXKuGQXiWyl8uVRDFTlQHCxoLdx4/s1600-h/015.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 384px; height: 287px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XjpvyI7O2T3K0uh5XA75LqrORyNNNh583hs6G-jAGmVQ3k2jUtJZzs82C-Z8kLUbhQb4_ZSmKVkQtqkVGChBsg0EDEn6Uoa-yDDjKx4HcAo2BKuKpXKuGQXiWyl8uVRDFTlQHCxoLdx4/s200/015.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341152966297116930" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Two Tone Tony took a long and much needed rest on the arm of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Giganto</span> Hand Lady. First traveling up her tree arm.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZUZ8YdaoQ55Ai3LcxvVePgRz9_i34ceIdehfXmDNen4KRUvcQGbfAd6YYbTvpNin-RxFrtxAACs0g0GSY1xy3eMhNtEbDrgkkOPZlkmy9TGKqFGIkpL5fpxLZaIG00RXYvUnUOC4y5oL/s1600-h/020.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 352px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZUZ8YdaoQ55Ai3LcxvVePgRz9_i34ceIdehfXmDNen4KRUvcQGbfAd6YYbTvpNin-RxFrtxAACs0g0GSY1xy3eMhNtEbDrgkkOPZlkmy9TGKqFGIkpL5fpxLZaIG00RXYvUnUOC4y5oL/s200/020.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341152969047576866" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Finally taking his rest at the home base....the Father of all Lady Bug Guards the shrine of the Big <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Bubba</span> Blue. The only other lady bug since the beginning of time to be set apart for its differing color and uncanny ability to lead the troops.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioTYNtwpxTzj51Z1FrYuq4xhAIUPI6cIXinOCENd-WDOXt0O28cZeTbVSyyR2rkq1xEqe7nsLt862t1TbI1mLLd4o7pE1FAPYeRp7tZ2ZyjY8lQe_NMGDLeBDPiXkoXYOROPqCb0T6J0KK/s1600-h/021.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioTYNtwpxTzj51Z1FrYuq4xhAIUPI6cIXinOCENd-WDOXt0O28cZeTbVSyyR2rkq1xEqe7nsLt862t1TbI1mLLd4o7pE1FAPYeRp7tZ2ZyjY8lQe_NMGDLeBDPiXkoXYOROPqCb0T6J0KK/s200/021.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341153821685014754" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Another evil plan has been foiled. All is well in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Nuxville</span> and Miss Fussy Pants and Super <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Bluey</span> are training their new side kick Malodorous Boy how to tame the wild and fuzzy back yard spider to be an informant and warn them of their arch nemesis future plans.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPpcKVWaePiRXz1mZRjMZd8UTvv0QnVzZNEyzv9nD1tNyoezBPQcDvx3o6TL8LWFqX2pBSIoKmsaL01yZFTsJQoXXJVN96ntLFqDbaTpAVRrHzZQvublSzaDonzuegS850saSojNHGkVdu/s1600-h/054.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 352px; height: 258px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPpcKVWaePiRXz1mZRjMZd8UTvv0QnVzZNEyzv9nD1tNyoezBPQcDvx3o6TL8LWFqX2pBSIoKmsaL01yZFTsJQoXXJVN96ntLFqDbaTpAVRrHzZQvublSzaDonzuegS850saSojNHGkVdu/s200/054.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341162783318597730" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Until the next installment.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-65233394782648934672009-05-26T19:24:00.000-07:002009-05-29T00:56:14.516-07:00The only oneMy grandfather was a kind and gentle man. He never raised his voice or put any kind of fear in me. He worked hard. He built his 2 story house with his own 2 hands. He planted a substantial garden that gave his family more than 50% of their food. He was a pastor in his church. He was very devoted to his wife. He served in World War Two. He raised his children and never did anything offensive or wrong to them.<br /><br />My grandpa used to read from a beautifully colored childrens book to me every night when I stayed in his home. The books were all stories from the bible. Stories that now I can look at and see they can be taken as quite frightening. Coming from his gentle and loving voice I never felt a moment of fear or worry over these stories. I stayed with them (my grandparents)while my mother attended college. This would be for several weeks at a time. It was supposed to be one of my safe times. A place for me to be where no one could hurt me. I wish I could say this was true all the time. Unfortunately it was not. I should make it clear that my grandfather never once hurt me and he didn't know of the pain that was being inflicted on me while I visited. Those events are better saved for a different telling.<br /><br /><br /><br />My grandpa would gently ask me if I would like to go outside and pick vegetables from the garden. As I sat in the dirt picking peas from the vines, eating most of them, he would be working hard on the radishes or potatoes or fixing the watering system. I was safe and free to just sit and pick my food. I would skip about the garden for hours while he worked and ate the food he grew or drove toy cars and trucks through the dusty paths he had created between each long planter box. While he worked and I played, I remember feeling so safe and free. I never wanted to go back in the house.<br /><br />Sometimes we wouldn't go back in right away. He would go in and get the sandwiches grandma had made and some lemon aid and meet me out by the back deck (that he had built). We would wash up and sit and eat, then start fishin'. His was a nice little deck that stretched out over the canal that ran into Clear Lake near by. It was filled with rainbow trout and bass and cat fish. The cat fish gave me the creeps. The rainbows were my favorite, I think because they were so plentiful and easy to bring in. Grandpa taught me how to clean and gut them at the sink and cutting table he fashioned to his deck. As we fished together and grandpa had to put his arms over my shoulders from behind I remember thinking even back then at such a young age, "dont shudder, dont be scared, he wont hurt you, Oh thank God i am safe".<br /><br />I dont know that my grandfather will ever know just how much he meant to me. Will he know he was the only man in my childhood to not traumatize me? Does he know, he gave me a glimpse into what a real man is supposed to be. If it wasn't for him, my life would have ended quite early and gone in a much more horrific direction. His loving arms and voice, let me know I was worthy. I am worthy. I am a child deserving of love and respect. I tear up as I write this. I miss my grandfather soooo much. He was taken from me by the person who used to abuse me back when I visited him. He still doesnt know. He may be dead right now for all I know. He may have died wondering what happened to the grandchild he loved so much. Why didn't she visit more, why didn't she love him? Lord I hope he doesn't die with that feeling or thought. I hope the truth is found in his heart.<br /><br />I love you so much grandpa. Thank you for saving my life just by loving me as a good man should.<br /><br /><br />I wish that I had pictures of him, but I don't. So all I can use are the pictures taken during times he was around and making me feel safe.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_16_1_49_41.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 207px; height: 308px;" src="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_16_1_49_41.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_15_23_4_58.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 305px;" src="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_15_23_4_58.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_15_23_4_5.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 285px;" src="http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/tnuxoll/Photo_2007_6_15_23_4_5.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-58830635132684028242009-05-22T16:29:00.000-07:002009-05-22T17:08:57.872-07:00Appropriate TimeLife around these parts has not been normal for 5 days now. Yes it is this gross at times. Masks required<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCPb2d3awTU-TTeph8sC47ABjFcosOPdJm54XFTqbhGPyhqdd9FbPhxqzP_kfok0pYt-HZ8YmZqD5PkDaVkAci9bkLZqSX1bE4jJ_sl0AksboVezClIBUrbMZEGHQOfC83Lh29GVtdCf7/s1600-h/044.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCPb2d3awTU-TTeph8sC47ABjFcosOPdJm54XFTqbhGPyhqdd9FbPhxqzP_kfok0pYt-HZ8YmZqD5PkDaVkAci9bkLZqSX1bE4jJ_sl0AksboVezClIBUrbMZEGHQOfC83Lh29GVtdCf7/s320/044.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338801119271184242" border="0" /></a><br />The dog Sug(er) has been hovering and protecting all the sick and dying. The cats seem to care also.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlIyoRnX51BkyCE898e9OcPjP2G82tsnLA2qfDqiTaQxIkN35DsTvPBwtI6wL0YuXqSaw8TDCADpVU_5aDs4cBEAi3zbhT3yCSokHhqtvx7RrKwms5k6Q7vN7HVH0Shcocxk5BayG2TquN/s1600-h/027.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 313px; height: 233px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlIyoRnX51BkyCE898e9OcPjP2G82tsnLA2qfDqiTaQxIkN35DsTvPBwtI6wL0YuXqSaw8TDCADpVU_5aDs4cBEAi3zbhT3yCSokHhqtvx7RrKwms5k6Q7vN7HVH0Shcocxk5BayG2TquN/s320/027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338800726809031650" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjomWSGCbvMlgjv94zhprmuV5WjEdBV-EtWktiWZA1TNu7Q0GZApMwsw_WAIUX9RB29dEnaj-9A9J-owHediZqQPLbjyJIY09L1F73-dWwueCABK1fTPQVKUn7awjc5AX35NlF39g0jX8HA/s1600-h/037.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 306px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjomWSGCbvMlgjv94zhprmuV5WjEdBV-EtWktiWZA1TNu7Q0GZApMwsw_WAIUX9RB29dEnaj-9A9J-owHediZqQPLbjyJIY09L1F73-dWwueCABK1fTPQVKUn7awjc5AX35NlF39g0jX8HA/s320/037.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338802993415317042" border="0" /></a><br />When they are up and walking this is what my floor ends up looking like. The towels you see have been there for 2 days covering the puke. I finally cleaned them up today. There were/are more throughout the house.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPWmT9hzwrgAnME0qjEAnw4gLH6mMgJTT97oqYYYKFbmTH3FD3O1Jgsbybi1znCzQqe9vVbDa_8jV2aWvbrG-PKaYs9dWhvyQfiDoOxAPJRDL5TnmThGL6fYths8VEu3tRzdONPLrRnIqh/s1600-h/038.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 291px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPWmT9hzwrgAnME0qjEAnw4gLH6mMgJTT97oqYYYKFbmTH3FD3O1Jgsbybi1znCzQqe9vVbDa_8jV2aWvbrG-PKaYs9dWhvyQfiDoOxAPJRDL5TnmThGL6fYths8VEu3tRzdONPLrRnIqh/s320/038.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338800947590909266" border="0" /></a><br />This is what my poor babies look like when they have just barfed and are too spent to do anything else. Rest wee one rest.<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqG-hVbXKzgCpaCG206mriDgpS9ua4Q3v0CnwxYCmQPJoIxDhysVmyS430w0RH26ZSTnZPVTqFg0I3Mnq0B3ofG1y1ZgNNCqczDF6j6y910puJwzbTiGWUNgE3t23BTDe6hOqnnV1h9So7/s1600-h/034.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 208px; height: 157px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqG-hVbXKzgCpaCG206mriDgpS9ua4Q3v0CnwxYCmQPJoIxDhysVmyS430w0RH26ZSTnZPVTqFg0I3Mnq0B3ofG1y1ZgNNCqczDF6j6y910puJwzbTiGWUNgE3t23BTDe6hOqnnV1h9So7/s320/034.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338800547926451234" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >Now for the writing portion of todays submission.</span><br /><br /><br /></div>There is an appropriate time for anything and everything. That does not mean the subject matter must be appropriate to someone elses liking.<br /><br />It is approriate that my home be a total disaster right now.<br /><br />It is approriate that my children just be allowed to cry.<br /><br />It is appropriate that they play nakey in the back yard pool if they so desire.<br /><br />It is approriate that my kids forage for food in the well stocked fridge without help from me.<br /><br />It is appropriate that I not be able to blog like I want to or go to the gym like i need to, right now.<br /><br />It is appropriate that I not get a shower everyday.<br /><br />It is appropriate that i yell.<br /><br />It is approriate to hide in my closet even for a moment from the screaming people.<br /><br />It is appropriate to say FUCK off to any and all rude and selfish mother fuckers that cross my path because normally I am full of patience and forgiveness but right now I am appropriately stripped down to my bare and raw abilities.<br /><br />I am appropriately different from my average daily self. Its an interesting trip to be on. That is how I try to think of it. Im not in a permanent state off affairs....OH NO. This is temperary, this is just a test of my will and determination to return back to my wonderful loving self, when all around me returns to its normal state of course.<br /><br /><br />I have been telling others for years that they too are OK being different from there normal selves for a period of time when life throws them a curve ball. So I must accept its ok for me too.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-64002958178993129832009-05-20T23:13:00.000-07:002009-05-20T23:37:07.100-07:00Wordless Wednesday<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihjMBwY4UaBsMAdotFOt8w_zY0s-n_ykwnKXG-q8ggzbkHEm_QG6lGVcyxcs7P3r9yBnU-0Tlu_xrBU2jcX4bM7Bhea-FjwuPV7kwPtNlLkxMGO-y8-1vZKMhvsLuGpd0E7yvCKXc9fRXr/s1600-h/081.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihjMBwY4UaBsMAdotFOt8w_zY0s-n_ykwnKXG-q8ggzbkHEm_QG6lGVcyxcs7P3r9yBnU-0Tlu_xrBU2jcX4bM7Bhea-FjwuPV7kwPtNlLkxMGO-y8-1vZKMhvsLuGpd0E7yvCKXc9fRXr/s320/081.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338158055383107506" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinhVZOdISBWH2oU9rROOoqIkkkZS-VY27FDLPxqwIb1nmOVNhNino6XW9rPD_R8HcQvG4b2MwljgvTqu_nlyh0TXhBrZg5IpTOx9zwjWATna968BwlWiRn_pGCEl8d5_39abrsB_iMj2Xj/s1600-h/016.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinhVZOdISBWH2oU9rROOoqIkkkZS-VY27FDLPxqwIb1nmOVNhNino6XW9rPD_R8HcQvG4b2MwljgvTqu_nlyh0TXhBrZg5IpTOx9zwjWATna968BwlWiRn_pGCEl8d5_39abrsB_iMj2Xj/s320/016.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338157608003970818" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qkGt9I_oawajJSqZJayP6Om1kF2WBdijlxj1RIPSE64j9OSaR_UMQ1O3b9kRiaEcd9HKbalyyP2bf2EkgRcUpSRgVkzVIYTQrOTnALlBL_JXqTMcMUQzMW11K2I58SZ5xWl_mG7pucSG/s1600-h/084.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5qkGt9I_oawajJSqZJayP6Om1kF2WBdijlxj1RIPSE64j9OSaR_UMQ1O3b9kRiaEcd9HKbalyyP2bf2EkgRcUpSRgVkzVIYTQrOTnALlBL_JXqTMcMUQzMW11K2I58SZ5xWl_mG7pucSG/s320/084.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5338157150436762530" border="0" /></a>Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-15907623181264984092009-05-19T12:16:00.000-07:002009-05-19T12:44:57.370-07:00Full of SHIT!**WARNING**<br /><br />The following blog may have some content that you might find ICKY. If your sensitive to poo conversations then don't read any further and go about your happy little day.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I normally post about positive things. This will be positive in the end, I promise. I can never just leave a negative situation to fester and become worse. There must always be a solution with some sort of happy ending.<br /><br /><br />So here is my problem. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Im</span> tired of SHIT. In my daily life (on good days) I have to clean up lots of shit.<br /><br />1x a week clear all the cat shit from my front yard (idiotic neighbors who like to feed all the strays)<br />2x a day doggy poo duty (I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">dont</span> mind this at all)<br />1x a day cat box duty (not a big deal)<br />2-4 x a day <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Greysin</span> diaper duty<br />2-3 x a day wipe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Blu's</span> butt ( i am grateful he is now going in the toilet instead of a diaper)<br />1x a day checking that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Bekah</span> properly wiped her own ass<br />1x a day well then there is my own personal wiping needs<br /><br />NOW lets add to my normal list:<br /><br />1-2 x a day clearing out the shit of some sick stray cat who poops inside the planters of my veggie garden.....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">grrrr</span> and its filled with maggots. The crap <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">doesNOT</span> sit there more than a few hours cause i check it several times a day so that means there is some sick cat walking around with maggots/eggs inside its body. This makes my skin crawl and I feel obligated to find this animal and help it.<br /><br />4-5 x a day these past 2 days cause poor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Greysin</span> is sick and has the horrible stinky runs.<br />3-4 times these past 2 days cause <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">im</span> house/dog sitting for my neighbor who has 2 dogs and the big one shits the size of 2 small kittens and he has the runs and blood in his stool....K YEAH NO!!!! I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">dont</span> want to clean this up. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">dont</span> mind the small dogs <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">itty</span> bitty turds but now they have also turned to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">diarrhea</span> so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Im</span> screwed<br /><br />AND MY DAYS ARE FULL OF SHIT!<br /><br /><br /><br />Here is my plan. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Im</span> going to first go rent 1 or 2 live traps to catch the cat who shits in my garden and one on the other side of our house where I have spotted 2 baby (stray) kittens, from my idiotic neighbors who <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">dont</span> believe in fixing cats. They feed the sick and infected strays but think <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Im</span> the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">freakin</span>' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">DEBIL</span> cause i want to humanely trap them and get them HELP....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">im</span> a little bitter about my neighbors as you can plainly see.<br /><br />So <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">anyhoo</span>, trap these strays and get them out of here. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Im</span> also going to put pointy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">skewers</span> around all my plants so if i cant catch this cat at least it cant crap on my veggies anymore. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Im</span> hoping this works cause I have already tried moth balls, a cayenne mix sprayed around, and coffee grounds. Next i will try chicken wire.<br /><br />I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">dont</span> have a solution for my neighbors(the nice neighbor) sick dogs, i <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">dont</span> mind dog/house watching for her, we do each other favors all the time. I just feel bad cause I cant bring myself to clean up those GIANT craps from her big dog, i almost vomit just going near them. On the bright side, now she will be aware that her dog is sick and needs to get some help.<br /><br />I told you ...........full of shit. I wasn't kidding.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-41251008854757749542009-05-16T14:45:00.000-07:002009-05-17T16:53:33.667-07:00Picking up peoples garbageI enjoy opening myself up to experiencing the world around me. This even includes what some would consider the more negative experiences.<br /><br />INSERT GIANT BUT<br /><br />Its much easier to take the world in as it comes when I am rested and armed/prepared to properly protect myself.<br /><br /><br />Yesterday I went to my daughters school Spring Carnival. It was HOT out there but there were icees and water melon so it wasn't too terrible.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgukZjK2iI0DyApj_AWI21NcGlpWa3s4qQND48Gv1E9OZB90tDkuggEA5R-9TNy_s4g93q6Vy6m-1lzgZnAAuPqLixZaF6aznxTcjwdjwRyvLm1czjudVNsre7Qk-snApx0RkuZGwDQW9gw/s1600-h/050.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgukZjK2iI0DyApj_AWI21NcGlpWa3s4qQND48Gv1E9OZB90tDkuggEA5R-9TNy_s4g93q6Vy6m-1lzgZnAAuPqLixZaF6aznxTcjwdjwRyvLm1czjudVNsre7Qk-snApx0RkuZGwDQW9gw/s320/050.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336928378228032514" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbDUud1utuSy6DAezk9RfF4ISPlspVzCwGYux_uHHl53f77taFshTKQbBAMFwAZDKl0qz-VOBZb3IK476ZOlhJ4EYs5XiFp9PNFJx90kEqpc79XvH5jXhfc1kxC6djLQp_xAhWubmApue/s1600-h/048.JPG"> </a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbDUud1utuSy6DAezk9RfF4ISPlspVzCwGYux_uHHl53f77taFshTKQbBAMFwAZDKl0qz-VOBZb3IK476ZOlhJ4EYs5XiFp9PNFJx90kEqpc79XvH5jXhfc1kxC6djLQp_xAhWubmApue/s1600-h/048.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbDUud1utuSy6DAezk9RfF4ISPlspVzCwGYux_uHHl53f77taFshTKQbBAMFwAZDKl0qz-VOBZb3IK476ZOlhJ4EYs5XiFp9PNFJx90kEqpc79XvH5jXhfc1kxC6djLQp_xAhWubmApue/s320/048.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336927776609927234" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />All the classes at her school put on a short skit/performance. Here is a short clip of Bekah's.<br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxvAJwqhgh9MkDNL0c3dGTdTPefTvMGBR0KXyYpNBObrT8NBwZS7tXoEN3iuvPN1WjqeXYQU7_9rQWyy7EcBg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Now to get to the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg129/jennyrose21/meat.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 133px;" src="http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg129/jennyrose21/meat.jpg" alt="" border="0" /> </a><br /><br /> of this blog.<br /><br /><br />I was standing off to the side watching the performances when this over weight sloppy and sweaty man walked in front of me and approached a man video taping his child perform. I took notice of this man and his actions because as he walked passed me i got an instant feeling of anger and bad intent.<br /><br />He said to the man, "dont you hate it when someone stands in front of you when your trying to see your kid perform". The man gave him an odd smile and politely said, "yeah sure thats annoying". You could see on the innocent mans face that he had no idea why this angry man was saying this. Considering I was standing back and could see the entire layout of the thing i understood that this angry man was wrong and he should not have expected anyone to know they were blocking his way. It was an obsurd expectation. So the angry man walked back passed me again, giving me the chills and i started shaking uncontrollably. (note: this was not fear it was his anger that I was picking up......darn it)<br /><br />He returned to the innocent man (who was still taping his child) a few seconds later shaking and sweating like a pig. He stood in front of him put his back right in front of the mans camera and said in a hushed tone (picture someone wispering a YELL...is that possible) " how do you fucking like this then, cause this is pretty much what you did to me". So this poor man now has to have this angery fat mans mug and angry words on his video camera when it was supposed to be of his child performing. The angry man went on to curse and put down this innocent man. It made me sick and i couldnt stop shaking.<br /><br />My first reaction was to grab my children and walk away from this persons evil....which at this point was oozing out of him like slime all over me. See here the armor would have been really helpful. I kept my eye on this man the entire time we were at the carnival. He made me sick inside and i was fearful of being too close to his hatred again.<br /><br />Normally this would not have been a problem. I would have gone right up to the two men in the beginning and had my armor on and pushed my way in the middle and acted like an old friend of the innocent man and just walked away with him. Leaving angry dude in the dust to deal with his own damn mess. But no, i had his mess all over me. It was beginning to hurt. So instead of continually watching out for this man and avoiding him anymore I chose to seek out the innocent man. Well i didnt seek as much as if i saw him I would say something to him.<br /><br />Toward the end of the carnival I saw the innocent man. I approached him and said, " hi, i wanted to speak to you. I saw what happened from start to finish with that angry man earlier. I wanted to tell you that you did nothing wrong and that i was so sorry he treated you like that."<br /><br />The man's body physically relaxed in front of me as did mine. He thanked me profusely saying that he had questioned himself the rest of the morning wondering what he could have done differently to not upset that man. I told him there was nothing he could have done, that man was just angry and full of hate. I told him that until i was able to speak to him (the innocent man) I was carrying around the mans anger and it was heavy. The man was so grateful to me for approaching him and I was grateful that he was the cure to my heavy burden.<br /><br /><br />I grew with this experience. I learned that even though normally I am well armed, I am very sensitive to other peoples energy and I should not take for granted a good nights sleep and taking time out for myself to rebuild my strength so things like this cant tear me up again. It was very hard on me. I am not being dramatic or over indulging in how this effected me. It was very real. It makes me understand more how and why I was the way I was as a child. I felt so much from the people around me, I was lost and confused in all their adult emotions. This puts into better perspective so many things for me and how I will protect my own children from negative or intense adult emotions. I already do protect them in a way but now I know exactly the name of this beast and can be even more dilligent in watching out for it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />NOW please clean your mind with a few cute pictures of my loved ones.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg97bS1mLZWdomN0zpHAlTh3qZ6cD3mSn8uYy7nv-iOOBk_mQevPaHCcL1fLc6aZQZ7zpxVB5QLEHfhfmsn3VlW6wGVnWNQuS3lhTpgGwEFLsKZ8gNOr88NHVGrkf8bxr5fQ_NA6T8GuuQk/s1600-h/065.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg97bS1mLZWdomN0zpHAlTh3qZ6cD3mSn8uYy7nv-iOOBk_mQevPaHCcL1fLc6aZQZ7zpxVB5QLEHfhfmsn3VlW6wGVnWNQuS3lhTpgGwEFLsKZ8gNOr88NHVGrkf8bxr5fQ_NA6T8GuuQk/s320/065.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336941263931705794" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwRtxO3ZwjC_XyfeNEK5Wm2YqwpihK0WOOEIFrhLOgfUy_EyVySrN1zaW8PmhEGxFgQovQpEVwNDYVgCuCl1ym2f4d_zghWDyBIqSsirzzFXvb_2gbpHt_TV8QYVxN7K-twFKAODadQt2h/s1600-h/036.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwRtxO3ZwjC_XyfeNEK5Wm2YqwpihK0WOOEIFrhLOgfUy_EyVySrN1zaW8PmhEGxFgQovQpEVwNDYVgCuCl1ym2f4d_zghWDyBIqSsirzzFXvb_2gbpHt_TV8QYVxN7K-twFKAODadQt2h/s320/036.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336941265022940210" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj3rqAin0V5S4GayCcTd3MUm4248sImaOsTbY2FiVPslGymoKQH03AJ7kIyvp-8bkgW9xn0uytFLR6CBGQSl_IjAumasq7Q_ICIaQ2FdsDY1Cbvpn2nOh_6lio8If4XdjH4TBHgC0PFlsD/s1600-h/032.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj3rqAin0V5S4GayCcTd3MUm4248sImaOsTbY2FiVPslGymoKQH03AJ7kIyvp-8bkgW9xn0uytFLR6CBGQSl_IjAumasq7Q_ICIaQ2FdsDY1Cbvpn2nOh_6lio8If4XdjH4TBHgC0PFlsD/s320/032.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336941257305930978" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh5RsQNCmXV0HbxLZ71EuRwPdpyQRxmcAJ1J4MN01Yl0IrkUUxmoartUKvB56HexH09Pie-judgbnIJzFfjp5bhzHMoQgMxr8sWD-fwypsUbZvDfb9fFdBOMS5aM6a1rxCrTaVdaeYnwQI/s1600-h/068.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh5RsQNCmXV0HbxLZ71EuRwPdpyQRxmcAJ1J4MN01Yl0IrkUUxmoartUKvB56HexH09Pie-judgbnIJzFfjp5bhzHMoQgMxr8sWD-fwypsUbZvDfb9fFdBOMS5aM6a1rxCrTaVdaeYnwQI/s320/068.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336942397013661986" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Have a wonderful day and keep your armor on. Take good care of yourself.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-63811369942780810512009-05-15T21:46:00.000-07:002009-05-15T21:53:11.764-07:00Eyes are a burnin'Let this woman sleep. Please. She deserves it. She is a powerful and might force when she has had enough sleep.<br /><br />They all need me during the day, which is just fine with me. I like to be needed and do my job pretty damn well but at some point sleep.....................good solid and sound sleep should enter the picture. I hit my pillow and my body is still running and my mind is still flying. Sleep is the last thing I can do. Im figuring there is a damn good reason for this lack of sleep. Possibly some wonderful and magical epiphany will strike me and i will become further enlightened. Yes lets go with that theory and see how far we get.<br /><br />So no matter how much I might like to dream and sleep in my comfy bed. I guess I can just wait it out with my eyes a burnin'.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5766792960183848394.post-85492609924782781802009-05-14T20:54:00.000-07:002009-05-24T17:48:35.338-07:00My reasonI actually deleted my very first blog on this site because I really had no idea what my point would be for this blog, so i just rambled a bit. Well that silliness is gone and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">I'm</span> replacing it with my real intent.<br /><br />I used to love writing as a child. I was that kid who wrote things in the second through 5<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> grade that got special mention or put in the school "paper". I can look back now on it and realize I had not written anything special. I just used deeper feeling and connected with what adults understood. While other children possibly just wrote what they were told to write, or copied words from a book, I pulled my stories from my experiences and laid out my raw emotions for the world to see. <br /><br />I will never forget in the 3rd grade I wrote a story of a young girl living in a village, and upon returning from her walk in the woods, she found her entire <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">village</span> brutally murdered by a dragon. I told of burned bodies and her mothers limbs parts spread across the hut they once had dinners in. The charred remains of her baby brother. How on earth a child of 8 or 9 yrs can show signs in her writing of being aware of such horrors and not be questioned is beyond me. I wish my writing at the time had been enough to spark someones attention my way. Maybe I could have been saved from so many dark and menacing experiences and been able to finish school with a clear mind. The idea of being able to properly focus on education was a dream of mine as a child. I remember loving being taught how to create a story. In the end my home life won the battle. Soon school just became a place I went and no one got beat so I was safe, always holding on to the chilling fear that I had to return home at some point. Of course I realize now my journey was meant to be what it was. I had to live through all of that to be the woman I am today and the mother I am and wife I am. I like me and thankfully I know Im not done writing my story.<br /><br /><br /> I had a horrible childhood filled with evil and torment. Writing seemed to be my only healthy way to release the pain and fear I felt from my surroundings. I utilized many other techniques to ease my troubles but writing always seemed to be the only one who would not betray me. I have pages and pages of journal entries that to me are my precious epiphanies of youth and describe my path to the wonderful life I live now. Over the years I have not shared my writings because I did once and I was told I write like a child. That hurt me and I stopped writing for several years. I needed that time. I needed to miss writing. I needed to grow up and meet others who wrote just for the joy of it and understand how my writing could have and should have evolved from that scared 3rd grader to a full grown woman that I am today. Sadly I missed out on various writing styles, grammar and techniques. I'm sure to the professional writer or blogger I come across as simple minded or lacking proper education for writing. That is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ok</span>. I think I need that. I put myself in places that open my eyes to what I need to learn. I want true and valuable input on how to be better at this thing I have <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">cherished</span> so much. <br /><br />So this is the beginning. I look forward to the adventure. I seek knowledge and from what I have seen of other writers I can learn a lot. Someday I hope to be bold enough to take some writing classes for now I will just get a feel for it by practicing in writing of my life and things <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">I'm</span> passionate about. I am also enjoying so much reading the blogs of good writers. If you read this and know of inspirational <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">bloggers</span> with varying techniques please share.Hopehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08949427413519536716noreply@blogger.com4